Family is supposed to be the one place you can always come back to, no matter how messy life gets. Sadly, it doesn’t always work out that way. According to YouGov, 38% of US adults say they’re currently estranged from at least one family member, which shows just how common these painful breakups can be.

Two Redditors asked parents to share why they disowned their children, but plenty of other people jumped into the conversation too. Some had been cut off themselves, while others told stories about relatives and friends who went through it. We’ve rounded up the most memorable replies below. Scroll down to find out what led to each split.

#1

I was disowned by my folks for being gay (they are super duper religious) and I have no regrets. Life was hard for a while (lived in homeless shelters/on the street, was hungry a lot) but I pulled through, went to school on scholarship, and now live a pretty rad life.

Have not spoken to my folks in years. Sometimes dream about them, but other than that I do not look back on it and go "gee, I wish I had not been outed because I miss them". My life is awesome now, and would be less so with them involved.

I hope they have regrets.

#2

I used to date a girl whos parents disowned her. To be honest if I was her dad I probably would have disowned her to.

See she told me that her dad used to beat her pretty severely and had touched her on more than one occasion. She had phoned up child services and told them this. She was taken out of her parents house and put into a half way house.

My mum practically adopted her from that day though. She was with us every day, my family bought her clothes to replace the stuff shed lost and she stayed with us allot. Her parents kept saying she was lying we didn't know the real her and wed find out soon enough.

A few weeks went by and all was good. Then it started to change. The half way house would phone to talk to her when she wasn't here but she told them she was. We thought she was there. Turned out she was out partying to all hours and not coming back.

Then we found out she was on allot of pretty hard core d***s. Next it turned out she had been selling stuff my mum had bought her to buy alcohol. She had stolen my nintendo ds and sold it to buy more d***s and alcohol. She was lying every day about stuff and just generally turning into the person we where warned about.

Her dad asked me to come speak to him man to man and I did. He told me that she does this all the time. She finds some guy to exploit then gets her self thrown out so that she can party and waste her life. I talked to her brothers and sisters all who said there parents where great she was lying the whole time.

I confronted her eventually and she confessed that she had made it all up she just wanted out of the house and now she wasn't going back. I broke up with her and told the police what I knew. Apparently after an investigation her dad was found innocent but her family never took her back. I heard some time later shed gotten pregnant and didn't know who the dad was because she was having s*x for d***s. I haven't heard from her since.

#3

My father disowned me because I chose to keep a relationship with my mom after they split. I should mention that I am the only one of his four children that doesn't have an active restraining order against him, but I also live 2808 KM away from him.

#4

Not me but my parents disowned my oldest brother for several years. In high school he constantly lied and got involved with heavy d***s. His friends caused my parents a ton of trouble, stealing cards and checks. My parents hold education as one of the most important things in life. When he graduated it came down to go to college or get kick out and cut off (my parents paid for our college). He choose to skip college and work and travel. He bummed around for years but eventually had a daughter. When my parents saw he was cleaning himself up and taking responsibly they were more than willingly helped out. He realized his mistakes and has been sober since his daughter was born.

#5

Not sure if this counts, will let Reddit decide. I was adopted in 5th grade to a set of parents who couldnt have children. Then they had children biologically due to some new form of medicine...when I was in 10th grade. They moved out of state after that, without me, I finished high-school living with my bosses family (woman boss who had a husband and 2 girls about my age).

#6

I was disowned because im LGBTQ+.

#7

Not a parent, but a friend of mine was disowned by his adopted parents when he came out as gay. Either both of his parents are Southern Baptists, or one parent is Southern Baptist and the other's Catholic. Either way, they're very religious and quite homophobic, so when my friend came out, it came as something of a shock to both of them. His father got *extremely* angry, neither parent was having any of that in *their* house, there was a fight, some nasty things were said on both sides, and my friend got disowned in favor of their biological daughter, his adoptive younger sister.

#8

My father disowned me about 7 years ago. My parents divorce lasted something like 7 years, starting about 15 years ago. He was an alcoholic and had an affair. He was also a racist homophobe that was generally not fun to be around.

The divorce lasted so long because of fighting over money. My mother had a lot, he had some, but no one in my family was struggling. When all was said and done, he had to pay for 1/3 of graduate school so long as I wasn't out of school of more than a year. My mom kept both kids and the house, and he walked with probably a quarter million in cash with minimal child support- so the grad school was the biggest hit he took.

The first time I went to law school, I treated it like my senior year of college and failed out. He was actually happy and made some d******d comment about not having to pay for me anymore. I got a job as a paralegal and reapplied... but didn't find out I was back in until about 3 days before the semester started. I knew my dad was relieved when I failed out and he thought he was done paying for school, so I didn't bother telling him I got back in.

So when he finds out he calls me and asks why I didn't tell him. I told him it was because I knew he would make it about money and not be proud of me for trying again or going to law school. His response was, "well it is about money for me."

About 3 weeks into the semester I get an email from his girlfriend I was obviously not supposed to see. This woman hardly knew me, and was agreeing with my father about what a piece of s**t I was (he forwarded some of my emails to him and his own emails to her were attached to the bottom). I took the high road and just told my father his girlfriend should not hit "reply all." She proceeds to write me directly, not to apologize, but to defend her right to have her opinion about me. F*****g trashbag. I never bothered wasting my time by responding to that.

We stopped talking, and he asked to see my report card at the end of the first semester. I dropped it through his mailslot and he came out to look at me, but we didn't talk. That was 7 years ago. He was not at my graduation and has never met my fiance. He is not invited to my wedding, and everyone knows if he shows up he is not allowed in.

Meanwhile, he married that girlfriend in Vegas and bought a house with her. He didn't bother telling me he got married, and I guess I have 2 step-sisters out there somewhere. When I have kids, if they want to meet him I won't stop them, but I doubt we will ever reconcile. I don't want anything from him, and all I learned from him is how not to parent a child.

TL;DR: Dad was an alcoholic adulterous racist homophobe that cut me off over his own divorce agreement and s**t talking girlfriend that didn't know how to work her own email or apologize.

#9

My brother had been dating a girl for about 2 years. She was really sweet in the beginning, but she changed and showed her true self. She got my brother hooked on zanex and one day he beat me because I fed our cat too much food. I was bleeding down my arm because he threw me at a coffee table. I locked myself in my dads room but he picked the lock. I have never been more scared in my life. My dad soon came home and rescued me. My brother was kicked out and disowned. He broke up with his crazy girlfriend, cleaned up, and moved back in a year later. Our relationship is better than ever now.

#10

I disowned my mother. for a year and a half she treated my father like s**t and i watched every minute of it. He did not deserve what was happening to him. Eventually she admitted that she was cheating on him and was trying to get him to divorce her. This is because in the state i am in it is 50/50 if it is neutral but 60/40 if there is cheating happening. Brought both my father and sister to the brink of s*****e with her hurtful words. I was the one that had to keep everyone calm and keep them from doing something stupid. Lied to my face saying she was not going to take the house. In court though we won and got to keep it. I forgave her and we had relationship. The one thing I did tell her was not to let her boyfriend near me. Of course as i was leaving work i see the two walk over there and knock the guy out. She came to my house and tried to yell at me i blew her off. never talked to her again and i am still putting out all the fires she causes.

#11

Both of my parents were disowned by their parents.

My mother's parents disowned her when she decided to marry a black man (my mom is white). They did not have any contact for several years until my sister was born and they realized how much they were missing by not giving my dad a chance. My grandmother has told me that she deeply regretted it and thus made the choice to reconcile. She and my grandfather did take the time to learn about my dad and ended up loving him very much.

My dad's dad disowned him for not becoming a Jehovah's Witness. My grandfather was very serious about his religion and walked out on my 7 year old dad. They saw each other a total of about 5 times after that. After my dad died, my sister and I went to visit our grandfather at his nursing home. We didn't talk about whether he regretted it or not, we just enjoyed our time together. He wasn't a bad person, just really dedicated to a crazy religion.

#12

An old friend of mine's brother was disowned by his parents for questioning the bible. I don't know the details, but it was a case where their incredibly strict rules and expectations resulted in him rebelling. I'll admit he went through a jerk phase in high school, but as far as I know, his behaviour was pretty typical teenage acting out (staying out late, not telling his parents what he was up to with his friends, s*x with his girlfriend, probably some underage drinking, etc.), but these are people who considered it unacceptable to miss one of the 3 church services they attended every Sunday.

I remember my friend, who was also extremely conservative, but still a nice person, telling me that she was worried he was too far gone to be helped because he said, "What if the bible is just a book?" I'm an atheist and she knows it, so I wasn't really able to sympathize. I tried to gently explain to her that asking questions about religion is part of healthy growth, but she just couldn't wrap her head around how someone could question the teachings of the church.

A few years later my parents ran into hers at the grocery store and asked about their son. Apparently their response was to get very stiff and reply, "We don't talk about him anymore.".

#13

Not disowned, but i did cut off contact with the man society has come to call my "father". Long story short, my family came here from puerto rico when i was five, he decided that he had better things to do and went off on his own little adventure. Left my mother to raise me and my sister. We endured many struggles, and if if werent for my aunt and uncle i doubt i would have turned out the way i did. On my 18th birthday, he calls and tells me he is proud of me. I got fed up and simply told him that if he didn't think i was important enough to be a part of my life, than now that i was 18, i didn't find a need for him to be part of my life. I hold no grudges against this man, but I'll be d****d if after all those years he thinks he can simply call me and pretend everything is peachy.

#14

My father disowned me when I was 20 because i wouldn't marry his niece (his sister's daughter). It's pretty common where I am from. My mother, six months before that because she was fed up with me, I came home after school and nobody was there. I blamed myself for almost 10 years.

Edit: I have never actually told anyone this, except for those who already knew by default.

Thank you all.

I can't thank enough every one of you. Really.

#15

Grown adopted daughter ghosted, got on d***s, moved back in with her d**g head bio family, got pregnant, got married to some loser, slandered us. Won't talk to her adopted brothers and sisters.

Nothing predicated or warranted this sort of treatment towards us. She's just bats**t.

I've decided I'm done because I am not going to put my family through that again.

#16

I regret it every single day. But the kid was a serious f**kup. I had to do it. haven't heard from him in 13 years.

#17

My mother disowned me because she was super christian and found a journal where i talked about doing d***s. she died 2 years ago. luckily we reconciled before her d***h.

#18

I know a girl whose parents SHOULD disown her.

At the beginning (a couple years back), she rebelled against her parents all the time, and one time her dad even slapped her, which caused her to rebel even more, and ran out, partied while her parents were worried sick. After a while, her parents gave up and just continued to take care of her, letting her out late (sometimes she doesn't even come home), and letting her have $50 (approx.) a day. Over the years, she continue to worsen, and from what her ex-close friends tell me, she's failing her classes, disappeared from school for weeks now, and is apparently staying at her bf/ex-bf (not sure what he is to her right now) now. And her parents still continue to provide for her despite all... that.

I just feel bad for those parents, man...

#19

I knew a guy who was disowned...mainly for going to prison for spousal a***e/r**e, doing/selling d***s, getting a girl pregnant at 19, dropping out of school, and just being a dumb a*s.

He wasn't even invited to the funeral for the dad! 100% exiled.

However, his side of the story was that his family was cruel and the dad was a unrepentant womanizer. Whenever I questioned him about these cruel behaviors....nothing came up...no beatings, mental a***e, etc. They're just jerks who didn't understand why he needs alcohol to function or that the last outburst was just "the d***s talking".

He was fine without the d***s but when he started taking them plus alcohol....even I disowned him as a friend.

#20

My parents almost disowned me for stealing their pills and swapping them out with fakes. Worked for about a year until I got caught. And now I haven't touched pills in about 4 months!

#21

I disowned my mother, she's manipulative and and has never gotten treatment for her Bi-polar disorder. I've spent my entire life fearing her outbursts and what she could do. I never knew what peace of mind was until I was out of my own. She use to try and get me to come by so she could stir me up into doing things for her, but I finally stopped being naive and cut her out of my life for good. I didn't come away from it without any scars, I live with the effects of the way she brought me up, but I'm getting better.

#22

I disowned my old man about 5 or 6 years back, for reasons I won't go into with my own account. I have no qualms with the fact that the next time I see him will probably be at his funeral.

#23

My mom kicked me out when I was 15. I was a wild, crazy, drunk, high kid who was constantly causing school trouble and legal trouble and home trouble and after another big dilemma she was just like "I can't, I'm done". So I went to live with my uncle. And my mom and I didn't get along so well for a while. Now things are fine. It was pretty much the best thing for all of us.

#24

Not the parent, but my mom disowned me for standing up to her. She was stealing money from my grandmother/her mom, who suffers from Parkinsons, and I contacted the authorities to investigate it. She called me screaming that she was going to tell people we were all d**d, and we haven't heard from her since.

#25

I went to a party at a friends house in high school and there was a girl from a different school there, not really sure where she "came from" cuz it was otherwise just like, my school friend group drinking, not an actual party. Anyway, she had the kid, blah blah blah, she ended up having another kid a few years later in her 20's and then gave the first f*****g kid up for adoption.. kept the newborn and gave up a 5 year old.. can't even imagine. I was never friends with her so idk the details between but it's hard to imagine anything could rationalize that.

#26

I hope I'm never even *tempted*. My kids are young, but they're clearly not psychopaths and there's no mental illness in our families, so as long as they don't get into d***s, we'll be fine. I know how d***s can make people do horrible and evil things and, while I would help them pay for rehab should they want it, I'd probably have a limit to the a***e I could take before I cut them off and tell them to call me when they're sober.

#27

I've never disowned a child, but my parents disowned one of their daugters.

She was very emotionally volatile, generally unstable, and very selfish. She most likely had schizophrenia and / or severe bipolar disorder. She could get very violent to the point where my parents were afraid of her.

Then again, she could also be a very nice person when she wasn't having an episode. Problem is, the bad outweighed the good and she wouldn't keep up with psychiatric help or medication -- despite her parents' help.

So, they cut her off. It had just become too much. To make it worse, she just refused to get herself together even after she had children -- which her parents wound up adopting.

Overall, it was just an emotional mess for everyone.

#28

My daughter will marry inside her own race or be disowned entirely. Will not help fund a wedding, will not provide any material support. If she cant afford college life that won't be my problem. Will not let her on my property, and I will take her out of my will. She knows this will happen. So if she chooses the bad path, she understands shes gone to me.

#29

I didn't want to disown my child but he left me with little choice... He was constantly smoking w**d which was bad enough, and then one day he brought home his boyfriend... Then one day, he comes in and tells us all that he's an atheist. That was too much, he was supposed to be a role model to his younger siblings but he totally dropped the ball. Had no choice but to disown him.

#30

Yes. It was about the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Our son was always a little weird, but we never thought it was this bad. He started off just shutting himself off from his normal friends at school and spending hours and hours playing video games. His grades only slipped a little, mostly c's, but that was normal for him. He then got into community college and started hanging around these kids who met up to play a block-building game together.

We have a very religious home, and our faith has played a major part in his life. He knew what our plans and expectations were of him. One Thanksgiving meal he brought one of his video game friends with him and finally came out to us. We couldn't take it. We had to cut him off from our family because we didn't want a cancer like that to reach his brothers and cousins. I think about him still, but I know it is right in the end.

WHATS CRACKIN

30 People Reveal The Moments That Finally Got Them Disowned By Their Families

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