Marriage isn’t just a union of two people; it also brings together their families, which can be the biggest source of drama and conflict. One age-old saga that folks have had to deal with is terrible mother-in-laws who seem to get joy from inflicting their toxic rule on everyone else.

That’s why we put together this list of horror stories for Halloween all about moms-in-law who’ve overstepped the bounds so much they’ve forgotten where the line was in the first place. Brace yourself for some truly cringy, awkward, and jaw-dropping posts about in-laws from hell.

#1 Mil "Surprised" Us By Ripping Out My Two-Year Native Plant Garden While We Were Out, And Now I'm The Bad Guy For Not Being Grateful

My mother-in-law is staying with us for four days this week. Yesterday while my husband and I were at work, she decided she wanted to do something "wonderful and helpful" for our home to show her appriciation.

I have spent the last two summers cultivating a dedicated native pollinator patch in the front garden bed. It had milkweed, purple coneflowers, asters, and goldenrod that were finally established and blooming for early autumn. To someone who only likes golf-course lawns, it looks a bit wild and rustic, but I put dozens of hours of labor into sourcing and planting those specific species.

I got home yesterday afternoon and found the entire bed stripped completely bare down to the dirt. She had dug up every single perennial with a hand trowel, bagged them in yard waste sacks, and covered the bare soil in dyed black mulch with three sad plastic mums stuck in the center.

When I stood there in shock and asked what happened, she beamed and said she "finally got rid of all those awful scrub weeds" for me. When I couldn't hide my distress and walked inside, she burst into tears, complaining to my husband that she spent four hours on her knees in the sun just to be treated like an enemy. Now my husband says that while she was wrong, I need to soften up because "her intentions were pure."

CCG14:
Red flag on the play. This is wildly unacceptable. Not only did she undo your hard work and love, she assumed it was ok to mess with your property. Absolutely not.

I hope you can save some of your plants from the bags. A lot of plants and flowers are surprisingly hearty.

ALittleStitious1027:
Wow this sounds like a Carolyn Hax column where someone wrote in whose FIL did this but out of malice. He did not like the appearance of her wildflowers and while they were on vacation, he had it all cut down! And her spouse’s reaction was much like yours. Needless to say, everyone including Carolyn were like what the hell.

#2 Mil Keeps Asking What I Do For Work

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years! Married going on 4. I hate going over my in laws house the energy is so fake.

One thing I’ve recently noticed is every time my husband isn’t in the room (bathroom break, in the garage with step dad) my MIL ALWAYS asks “what is it that you do again?” Which is so freaking odd to me because I’ve been an engineer in healthcare going on 10 years.

I think my MIL minimizes what I do since I’m able to work from home, I have a busy schedule, and she hates the idea of having to schedule to see us. But that’s the real world. I schedule to see everyone!

She also questions how I’m able to afford certain things, “how did you get this purse?” Are these new shoes?” I started saying “new to you, old to me.” Because, how would you know every single article of clothing I have. I’m an engineer in healthcare with 10 years of experience! That’s how I’m able to have these things. It annoys my husband so much he wears the same thing every time we see her so she doesn’t ask questions.

Every time we come to in laws house I bring my personal laptop to complete small tasks (homework, emails, etc). MIL has never had a career. She blames her children for that.

MIL keeps asking me what I do and I’m so close to asking her if she has dementia because she does this every time

I come over. If her mother and great aunt can remember what I do, as well as my grandparents. Why is she having a hard time remembering? I need something witty as f**k and sarcastic to say to her.

I’m also pregnant and she has no idea,. My MIL thinks I’m just a “career girl” she’s in for a treat!

ohmichelle4:
I’m wondering if she’s trying to call you out for having different outfits, while she thinks her son only has the one same outfit he always wears around her.

HerGirlFriday:
“What is it you do again?”

Same thing I’ve been doing for the last ten years/when DH and I married/last time you asked that.

You ask me that a lot. Have you talked to your doctor about memory loss?

#3 I Told A Partial Lie To Make My Mil Shut Up About Me Not Changing My Last Name

I have always wanted to keep my last name even if I got married. As a little girl, I never wanted to be married or have kids, I wanted to live for myself. My mom trapped herself in a bad marriage and told me to always prioritize my independence and I really took that to heart.

Now that I am actually getting married, I see that marriage can be great if thats what you want or that kids are ok, I still am 70/30 on not having them/having them, but whatever.

One thing I have not budged on is my last name. I will keep it no matter what. I told my partner before we are engaged that if he needs a spouse to keep his last name, I am not the one for him because nothing will change my mind. He also knows I am not super keen on having kids and he accepts both.

However, his mom keeps sliding in comments about it. She would make comments of saying “Oh Im so excited for you to become a (my partner’s last name)” and my partner and I would correct her. She would constantly say how my SIL was a “good girl” for taking her husband’s last name. My MIL also talks a lot of nonsense about my SIL for not wanting kids and only compliments her in front of me to manipulate me.

My MIL finally pissed me off because she would not. stop. making. those. comments and I told her the reason I want to keep my last name is because my family is the only group of people with this last name. Our specific ethnicity was nearly wiped out and our last name is so rare because of this and I refuse to let it end and it was racially insensitive for her to keep making comments. This made my MIL sputter and get so red… she actually dropped it.

I almost feel bad cause my last name is that rare and technically my dad’s side was nearly wiped out BUT this is not even a main reason for me to keep my last name… I just like my name tbqh and I love my partner but I will always value my independence more…

mynamesnotcarter:
Whatever it takes to shut these women up.

MDjr1111:
I am female, first married in 1980, so of course (Eye roll) took his last name. Divorced soon after but kept his name because the kid has his name.

2nd marriage, took his last name. Procreated again. He adopted the 1st kid because the sperm dad bailed and chose to give her up totally instead of paying child support. Divorced 12 years later. Again, kept the name because of the kids.

By then, I worked a job with a security clearance. The paperwork at that time was definitely not meant to handle multiple "also known as" names.

Several years later, I was well established in my career with my name. The name also flowed well. The kids were grown and gone and I (foolishly) married again. I was going to keep my name but he threw such a huge baby fit (why don't we listen to red flags?!?) That I took his name. He then died and I just stayed with the name. His sisters pitched fits that not only did I take him away from them (yep) and kill him for the life insurance that I refused to give his rightful family (so glad to be rid of that family), that I now had THEIR family name! No. The name is not special. It is exceedingly common in the Carolinas.

In retrospect I wish I'd kept my own name.

So many movies, television shows, and books depict how bad mother-in-law relationships can get, and research shows that in real life, 60% of daughters-in-law have a strained relationship with their partner’s mom. They often mention that they feel depressed, stifled, and infuriated by the controlling actions of the older woman.

Notably, only 15% of these relationships with sons-in-law are strained, which may be because women might find it harder to understand and sympathize with one another. Whether it involves household chores, the marital relationship, or even normal everyday choices, daughters-in-law might struggle to gain independence from their spouse’s mom, and the older woman might find it hard to give up control of her offspring.

#4 My Mil Has Started Calling My Husband's Workplace To Check Whether He Arrived Safely, And His Manager Finally Asked Him About It

DH started a new job about four months ago. MIL knows the company name but has never been given his manager's number or work schedule.

Last week his manager pulled him aside because a woman had called reception asking whether he “made it in okay.” Apparently MIL has done this more than once when the weather was bad or DH didn't answer her morning text.

DH called her and told her very clearly to stop contacting his workplace.

She cried and said he's making her sound “crazy” when she's only being a mother, then asked how she's supposed to know he's safe if he won't respond.

He's embarrassed and furious, but also worried confronting her harder will make her call again.

How would you shut this down without giving her another opening to argue about her intentions?

Successful_Voice8542:
“Mom, every time you call my work will result in me going no contact with you for a month. If you want to have a relationship with me, treat me like the adult I am and stop trying to control me. I know you worry sometimes but that is life. I will answer your texts when I can - not when you demand I answer. I want to have a relationship with you but you will destroy that by trying to manipulate me.”

Optimal_Piglet7832:
OP, he allowed it to happen.

Here are some comments that you can drive the point home.

"She only has the power to embarrass you at work because you've trained her to believe that throwing a tantrum gets your immediate attention. Put your phone on DND and grow up."

"If you didn't treat her morning texts like a summons from a parole officer, she wouldn't feel entitled to call your boss like and have a toddler meltdown. This is entirely a monster of your own making."

"She’s treating your new workplace like her personal daycare because you refuse to tell that you are an adult who doesn't need to check in with mommy before 9 AM. Stop rewarding the behavior if you hate the results."

"You’re blaming her for being a boundary-stomping toddler, but you're the one handing her the megaphone by always answering. Tell her to back off or deal with the embarrassment yourself. "

#5 Pizza Topping Tyranny: Modified The Entire Thing For Her Preferences Despite The Fact I Bought It That Way On Purpose

Got a take and bake pizza, 4 cheese. Just 4 cheese to keep it simple. Felt like that would be good because we have picky eaters and everyone likes that kind. I had a very hard day up to that point so I went upstairs to rest while my wife and MIL worked on baking the pizza (literally just like 30 mins or so).

I come down and wonder hey where's the cheese pizza? She said "oh, I like this kind of cheese better and I added onion, tomato, peppers, and ham." I thought oh ok, that's just for her slices but I don't see any that AREN'T done like this. The mf converted the pizza I PAID FOR into her personal preference and expected everyone else to eat it. This upset the two picky eaters who weren't very thrilled about this situation, but it was like w*f? Dude I bought it that way on purpose. You didn't even ask! Wth.

Then she ate HALF THE FAMILY SIZED PIZZA (this is a big pizza) and then half the dairy free one that was meant for ONLY my wife and son! She even had the gall to burp and fart loudly like "oh teehee it was just so good."

I did tell her "look, I bought the pizza that way on purpose. You didn't ask. That's insane behavior to just force your personal preference on everyone else, especially when it's not even your food." She said "well IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII like ham!"

"Ok, I know you do, but you can't decide that for us."

"I LIKE IT THOUGH"

"Not debating that. Just saying different people have different preferences."

"But what about MY preferences?"

"Put it on your slices then."

"But but but" and I just shushed her and said I'm not going to deal with this anymore, keep it to yourself, don't do that again.

She was very sulky and acted like I was clearly the one at fault somehow. Few things make me madder than that.

Responsible_Pen3929:
Your wife let her do it, I would be upset with her as well.

Xelloss_Metallium_00:
As someone who has ARFID and is on the Spectrum, I CANNOT handle when people mess with my food. I will absolutely shut down and not eat. It's definitely caused a lot of weight issues by just straight up not eating, but when you have taken what I would have been able to eat and turned it into something my body will reject, I'm truly left with no options.

#6 My Mil Can See Our Shared Calendar From When Fil Was Ill, And Now She Treats Every Empty Evening As Time We Have Already Offered Her

We gave MIL access to our shared calendar last winter while FIL needed regular help getting to appointments. It made coordinating rides easier. He's doing well now and that arrangement has ended, but we never removed her access.

Now she calls about any blank Saturday: why aren't we coming for lunch, why can't we drive her to visit her sister, what are we doing that hasn't been entered yet?

Last weekend:

Me: We're staying home.

MIL: But there's nothing on your calendar.

Me: Staying home doesn't need an appointment.

MIL: So you're choosing not to help.

My husband told her the calendar wasn't a booking system. She then called me separately to ask what we'd “really” planned. We're both ready to remove access. I need a short way to explain it without being pulled into proving we have a sufficiently important reason for each evening off.

agreensandcastle:
Of course you remove access. But I would schedule intimate times and a lot of family time with your side before I did. Also dates your husband has with other feminine names. But I’m aggressively petty. Idk whatever things that would really annoy her.

Any_Dress_3811:
'The calendar was originally set up for me and husband to coordinate. We are glad it could come in handy during FIL's need, but we are going back to the original arrangement.' Also, when she tries to call you to get a different answer than their son already gave, make it clear you're not going to be participating in this s behavior.

Everyone has probably faced conflict with their parents at different points in life, and that might have been easier to deal with, but disagreements with in-laws can be hard to handle. According to the New York Post, around 44% of men and women report having more arguments with their mothers-in-law than with their own moms.

Even older women report more conflict with their son’s spouses (18%) than with their daughter’s partners (17%). This shows that the trope has some truth to it: women have a slightly harder time getting along with their spouse’s mom, and it’s not just in their heads.

#7 Mil Thinks Lunch With My Mum Should Include Her, And Has Started Arranging It Directly With My Mum

Both our mums live nearby. Every few weeks I have a weekday lunch with mine. Usually jacket potatoes at her kitchen table, catching up about relatives and whatever she's been doing. My husband isn't there. We don't have children.

A few months ago we had a nice lunch with both mums, which I'd happily do again occassionally. Since then MIL has started asking whether she's invited whenever she hears I'm seeing mine. I've explained that sometimes I want time alone with my mum. She says marriage made us one family and she doesn't understand why we need separate visits.

Last week I told her Wednesday's lunch was just the two of us. She then rang my mum and said she'd heard about lunch and would love to come. Mum assumed I'd changed the plan and said yes. I found out when Mum asked whether MIL eats tuna.

My husband has told her these lunches aren't invitations, and we already see MIL regularly. Her response to me was that she wouldn't exclude my mum from anything. I don't think that's relevent, but somehow I ended up explaining our entire visiting schedule to her.

I've cleared up the misunderstanding with Mum. I'd like advice on what to say to MIL now, because explaining that I love my mum seems to turn into reassuring her that I like her too.

Floating-Cynic:
You need to stop telling her these lunches are happening.

In the meantime, for the next lunch, tell her "MIL, I know you have your feelings on this, but when I said this lunch was just the two of us, I meant I need alone time with my mom. It kind of feels like you don't want me to have a relationship with my mom when you make comments about not excluding her. If you want another lunch, then that needs to be scheduled separately."

She'll be upset, but that doesn't mean you did anything wrong.

#8 “I’m Beginning To Accept Her Place In Your Life”

Just no GMIL texted this to my husband while trying to convince him to let her move in with us. We’ve been married for 13 years.

No, she is not moving in, there was never any chance of that - my husband was up front with her about that but she wasted time trying to persuade him, she was convinced that I was making the decision and pushing it on to him. Somehow she thought this was persuasive

My second favorite line in this argument: “If you were really the head of your household, I would be moved in here already”.

Mojo_Rising:
Translation: "You used to be so easy to manipulate, but someone must have taught you to stick up for yourself so I'm going to blame them."

Strict_Bar_4915:
"Head of household" bs always cracks me up because you know these women have never, for a single day, let their husbands make a decision about anything.

#9 Mil Keeps Having My Son Reopen Gifts For A Better Reaction And I Need A Way To Stop This

The gift was a perfectly nice sweatshirt. My son thanked MIL, held it up, then put it beside him to open his next present.

Apparently that wasn't usable footage.

He's eight. At his birthday last Sunday she made him put the sweatshirt back in the bag and open it again. Then again because he looked at me instead of the camera. She was telling him to say he loved it louder, and he started asking whether he'd done it right. I stepped in and said we were moving on. She said I was teaching him to be ungrateful.

She did this with two presents at Christmas too, but I didn't realize how uncomfortable he was until Sunday. She sends the videos to her sisters. Nobody is posting them publicly, so when we've raised it before she treats it as us inventing a privacy problem.

My husband agrees the retakes need to stop and has told her once already. Her answer was that she just wants a nice memory. He says he'll handle it before Christmas, but she brings little gifts on ordinary visits as well.

I'd like a line we can use in the moment, without making my son sit through an argument about whether his first thank-you counted.

BigNefariousness4294:
“It’s not a real memory if it’s rehearsed and fake.” If she can’t take a regular video, just ask her not to video at all.

thelioness0809:
He opened your present and said thank you. That is a completely appropriate and genuine reaction to receiving a gift. If youre only giving him gifts for the show of gratitude and not out of love for him, then stop giving him gifts.

When people get married, they rarely consider what their relationship with their in-laws will be like, but that can be a tough bond to handle later on. According to the BBC, part of why navigating this kind of connection is so tricky is that there isn’t a rulebook for dealing with a spouse’s parents.

With relatives and loved ones, you might have shared understanding, beliefs, or past connections to build on, but with in-laws, you may have no common ground to bond over. That’s why at first, everything might be different and awkward, which is exactly where disagreements can arise.

#10 My Mil Has Been Trying To Keep Tabs On Us Our Whole Trip

My husband and I are out of state with our baby to introduce her to some of her extended family and have some fun. The trip has been great but we’ve been noticing that every time we meet up with a family member, MIL will call said family member while we’re out with them, interrupting our time and she’s always asking what we’re doing/talking about with them.

It’s been super creepy, and whenever we’re not out with family, FIL will call us and ask where we are and what we’re doing. After the third day of this happening, my husband stopped picking up calls/texts from his father and turned off his phone’s location (never knew he was sharing it with his parents in the first place ).

Since then, FIL has been nonstop calling us. My husband eventually picked up and got yelled at for not talking to him in days (it’d only been like 12 hours since we cut contact). My husband explained that we’re trying to relax and enjoy our vacation. Eventually he got off the phone and then ten minutes later, FIL called again and told my husband to turn his phone location back on.

We’re both creeped out. We’re full grown adults, we live on our own, have for years. We have our own lives and have recently limited contact with MIL, which is why I think she’s stalking us like this…

Lugbor:
He needs to lay down some serious boundaries with them, and he may need to be harsh in the words he chooses.

"Allow me to clarify our current situation. I am an adult with my own family. I am not your little boy who you are allowed to monitor at all hours, and I do not entertain you whenever you feel like it. For the remainder of this trip, [OP] and I will be blocking your numbers on our phones. We will be enjoying our time as a family of three without you interrupting. When we get home, we will discuss our current relationship with you and mom, and we will be deciding what level of involvement, if any, you will be allowed to have. Know that even if we decide to maintain a relationship with you, there will be drastic changes to the nature of that relationship, and the freedom you have enjoyed so far will be heavily restricted based on your recent behavior. This is the only warning you will receive. Do not make things worse for yourselves."

#11 Mil Constantly Scheduling Things That Exclude Me. Should I Go Out Of Town After The Next One?

MIL regularly plans things for the extended family like outings, concerts, and activities that exclude me. Even BIL's not-really-but-kind-of-off-and-on GF is included. So it's very noticeable that I am excluded.

I already know she hates me. This is not not surprising, it's more annoying at this point.

The expectation is that I will stay behind with the kids. I'm never asked if I want to go, this is just how it works out because she never gets me a ticket or reservation.

These are often things that we could get a babysitter for but I'm never given the opportunity.

(Yes, I know my husband should do something about it, that's a separate issue I'm working on. As long as MIL is alive this will keep happening.)

Anyway she did this again for something that's coming up in a couple of months.

I am thinking of telling them I'm going out of town after their event. Husband and MIL can take care of the kids for a few days while I get a relaxing solo trip.

What say you?

Neither-Dentist-7899:
It’s not that MIL is scheduling things. It’s that your husband is attending the things she schedules. I hope you recognize that not only is he choosing not to spend time with you, but he’s also choosing to not spend time with his own children. So, he’s a son first and only.

#12 Mil Has Started Making My 5-Year-Old Ask Permission Before Leaving The Room At Her House

My son told me after Saturday that he got "in trouble with Grandma" for leaving the living room to get a toy without asking.

I thought he meant she wanted to know where he was. Nope. MIL confirmed she has a rule that children don't just walk away from adults. He has to say "May I leave the room?" and wait until she says yes, even if nobody was actually talking to him.

She says it's basic manners and kids today are allowed to "dismiss adults." My husband said he doesn't remember this rule growing up. Apparently he just "knew better naturally."

What bothered me was yesterday my son asked if he was allowed to go upstairs while I was talking to my husband. We've never required anything like that.

I have zero issue with normal rules at her house. Shoes off, no jumping on furniture, ask before getting snacks, whatever.

But teaching him that an adult gets to decide whether he's allowed to remove himself from a room feels different to me.

Would you tell her this rule doesn't apply to him, or just stop leaving him there alone until she drops it?

catsby9000:
Grandma is allowed to have rules (as bizarre as they are,) but he is also allowed to decide he doesn't want to be over there too.

hairylegz:
He shouldn't have to 'ask permission' to leave the room, but at 5 he also shouldn't have free reign of the house unless it is childproofed and confirmed to be safe. Maybe just reframing it from 'permission' to 'informing', as in if you are going to leave the room please tell Grandma where you are going.

It’s not just different upbringings or cultures that can spark disagreements with in-laws; parenting can also be a point of contention. Research has found that folks with children tend to experience more conflict with their own parents and their spouse’s family. This usually happens after the birth of their first kid, meaning grandparents might begin to interfere in the little one’s upbringing and find fault with what the parents are doing.

In the early child-rearing years, especially, mothers-in-law might have more contact with the baby and end up overstepping in their attempts to show support and care. This can be hard to navigate and must be handled with care.

#13 Dear Mil, My Choice To Vaccinate Is An Informed Decision

My daughter is 10 weeks and we have made the choice to vaccinate. My MIL has been very anti-vax since COVID and uses her science degree from 1991 as authoritative proof that vaccines are bad for you.

I also did a science degree, much more recently than her actually, specialising in pharmacology. I never ever ever use my degree or qualifications in our conversations. I just think it's a little tacky, when the reality is I am NOT a subject matter expert, but one can look at the mountain of research and statistics that show how effective mandated vaccinations are at protecting children and people in vulnerable groups.

Ever since having my daughter, she's been sending me antivax videos but no comments or anything along with it. The recent video is from the US and we are in Australia, but we have similar vaccination schedules for children. It was about trying to take off the mandate for key vaccines like pneumococcal vaccine, hepatitis B, HiB. Here in Australia, it's not mandated but is a requirement in order to access subsidies like child care.

It really bothers me that there's this notion that if you are anti-vax, you've done your "research" and if you're pro-vax, you're just a sheep that wants to make companies wealthy.

Mind you, she's talking about making companies wealthy when in my SILs line of work, it is financially beneficial for the requirement to be dropped because there are a group of people that would consider child care centres if there was no requirement to vaccinate. Those people obviously find other forms of child care because they won't qualify for child care subsidies, and paying privately would cost and arm and a leg (if meningococcal didn't get there first). Sorry I'm just pissed off.

We live on the same property, different house. After two weeks of very very low contact, I was going to let her see her grand daughter but an extension is necessary. Frick this woman.

harle-quin
My mom was a Nurse her entire life, and after Covid/MAGA, she started sending me all this anti-vax trash.

The other day, she was talking about how you shouldn’t wear dirty shoes in the house because it can make you sick (I agree). She said, “it’s better to prevent an illness before it starts, than to treat it after”

I shot back with, “You know what else does that? Vaccines!!!”

#14 Mil Invited Herself To Hospital Day Of Birth

I got a text from my MIL today, wishing me luck for my birth tomorrow, finishing off the text with a “see you then”.

See you then? We are not on good terms and she has the audacity to tell me shes coming the day of my surgery and birth of my child, without asking. I told her I won’t be accepting visitors and she is welcome to come the following day. Which is extremely generous. She’s read it and hasn’t responded, so I’m fully expecting her to tantrum about it and act the victim to my husband.

Wish me luck.

Vast_Helicopter_1914:
Advice from an RN: Tell every single nurse who walks into your room that your MIL is not invited, and if she makes it on the unit and to your room YOU WILL BE FILING A FORMAL COMPLAINT. Most L&D units are locked down so not just anyone can walk in, so hopefully the hospital where you deliver will be the same. OB nurses are serious about protecting their moms and babies.

#15 Mother In Law Only Makes The Girls Do Everything

My mother in law has 3 grown sons who all have spouses. For years now, for every family dinner (which is lots) she only asks the spouses (the girls) to help with the cooking, cleaning up, setting up, dishes, while her sons can just come and sit and eat and do nothing else. Finally yesterday for thanksgiving one of us said “respectfully, you can ask your sons to help with dishes because they haven’t done anything to help yet” and then called out to her husband to come help and as he stood up our mother in laws reaction was just WILD, she goes “NOPE NOPE NO ILL JUST DO IT” and runs over to the sink. Is this weird behaviour? I understand helping at family dinners but never ever getting the men to help with anything and always expecting us to do everything seems unfair and strange.

Aromatic_Swing_1466:
I would follow SIL lead from now on. Especially if any of you have kids. Either all contribute equally or none do.

LadyCatzrule:
Im a GenX. I just started wandering away and not doing it. There was salty amongst the inlaws about my lack of help, but they shut up and quit bothering me when I said I washed up exactly as much as brother in law 1 and 2 did.

How to raise children and the best way to run a home can be sources of conflict, but one important issue many people overlook is holidays. During festive moments, folks might find it harder to set boundaries with their in-laws because traditions and family celebrations keep getting in the way.

One person’s parents might have always had a day-long Christmas get-together, but once a couple is married, their spouse might want to do something differently. This can cause a lot of strife between people and their in-laws because both sides might not understand each other’s perspective.

#16 Mil Asking Husband To Come Over And Help Her While I’m 38w Pregnant Just To Stress Me Out?

Am I overthinking this? Or is she doing this on purpose?

I’m pregnant with baby nr 2 and are due in a couple of days. Last time I gave birth it was at 38 weeks, and right now I’m having lots of contractions and are EXTREMELY tired and miserable. My last labor from start to finish was about 5 hours and started spontaneously and my midwife told me it would probably go even faster this time around.

Both my MIL and my husband knows this. Anyway.

My husband told my MIL this yesterday and she texted me today and asked me if I needed anything, I told her no it’s all good because my husband has been taking the week of to be with me in case I go into labor and also taking care of our other kid. She said okay just checking in and I thanked her. The thing is she never really helps when she’s here, she just wants to be served, never cleans or cooks and don’t even wipe my daughter when she’s in the bathroom, 0 help at all she even asks me to make her coffee while I’m laying down.

5 minutes later after texting me she calls my husband and asked him to come over this weekend to help them with their backyard. He said yes of course. They have two other children but she asked my husband? When I asked my husband why his siblings are not helping (they don’t have any kids and are free this week) he said he doesn’t know but that his mom obviously need his help? He also said it’s 30 minute drive home and I could just call him if I needed him

I told him he can go but then he can stay there and I can call my mom to come with me to labor and delivery and that I don’t need him or his psycho mom. He got mad but told me he’s going to tell her no and that he’s not helping her anymore. Am I overthinking this or is she doing this on purpose just to stress me out? W*f is wrong with her? Or is it me who’s overreacting?

AliceInReverse:
My third child came in under an hour. Your MIL was out of line. Your husband was MORE out of line because he said yes. You have a husband problem

#17 I Can’t Believe She Did This

My MIL just called a welfare check on my husband and I. She claims she hasn’t heard from my husband in “over a year”, it’s really only been a few months. We decided to go no contact with her after years of trying to get along with her. Things went downhill when she realized she couldn’t have unlimited access to our 3yr old son. She also lives in another state than we do. I’m honestly just so shocked she did something like this and I’m not sure what she was expecting to get out of it.

Tiny UPDATE:

Just wanted to say I appreciate every single one of you guys commenting on here. We did not reach out to her or anything like I’m sure she wanted us to. Thankfully the police officer that came to our house was super understanding. We told him that we are no contact with her and he said he had a feeling that was the case. He said he would do his part and let her know the welfare check was completed and leave it at that. We do plan on starting a paper trail now with everything she has said and done the past few years, just in case something else were to happen. I do think she is spiraling a bit, this is the first time she has probably realized that we were being serious this time about no contact. I will let you guys know if anything else comes from this incident. Thank you for all of your kind and supportive words.

drPmakes:
If your kid goes to nursery or anything similar, make sure they know not to release your kid to anyone and not to give out info to anyone. Set up an password they can ask anyone that calls saying there is an emergency.

Not trying to be dramatic or scare you, OP but hope for the best, prepare for the worst

#18 My Mil Promised Her Friends That I'd Alter Their Clothes, And Now There's A Bag Of Trousers In My Hallway With A Deadline I Never Agreed To, While She Says Returning Them Would Make Her Look Bad To Everyone Else

There are six pairs of trousers by my front door. I sew for myself, and I once shortened a pair for my MIL. That was the opening of a repair business.

She brought the bag on Sunday. Three friends have been told I'll do their alterations, and one needs hers for a trip next week. When I said I hadn't agreed to this, MIL said she'd already promised and couldn't embarrass herself now.

Me: You need to tell them you didn't ask me.

Her: Can't you just help this once?

I've helped 'this once' twice. That's partly on me, I was trying to avoid making things awkward. My husband offered to take the bag back, which I appreciate.

I dont want to start charging or negotiating deadlines. I want to stop receiving other people's clothes. How do I return these without getting pulled into explaining why each job is inconvenient?

_gadget_girl:
Have your husband return the bag and tell his mother that she doesn’t get to volunteer your services without asking. The whining is just a manipulation tactic that needs to be ignored.

Come up with a short phrase that’s easy to repeat over and over to her. “I didn’t agree to this and won’t be doing the alterations.” Don’t offer anything else. It isn’t your responsibility to fix her mess, or feel guilty. She didn’t ask, and you don’t want to do it.

In the olden days, folks lived in communities with their extended family and relatives nearby. This way of living might have helped when people needed support with household chores and child-rearing, but it also led to tiffs, conflicts, and arguments.

With many generations living under one roof, it can be hard for people to speak up against their in-laws or voice their opinions, which can build up resentment. That’s also probably why mothers-in-law kept trying to assert their rights, which may have come across as more controlling and tough to handle.

#19 Mil Dumped Six Storage Tubs Of My Partner's 25-Year-Old Childhood Schoolwork On Our Porch And Now Treats Them Like Sacred Relics

My partner's mother recently decided to remodel her guest room into a craft space. Her solution for clearing out the room was to drive over last week and unload six massive plastic totes filled with every scrap of paper my partner produced between 1996 and 2004.

We're talking 3rd grade spelling quizzes, dry-rotted soccer cleats, broken plastic recorders, and folders of clipped newspaper comics. When she left, she told him with tears in her eyes that she 'guarded these precious memmories' for decades and that he needs to keep them safe.

Now our small hallway is completely blocked. My partner feels suffocated by the clutter, but whenever I suggest sorting through them with a recycling bin nearby, he freezes up with guilt like he's desecrating a family heirloom. Meanwhile, she called yesterday to ask if we've bought proper shelving for them yet. How do we break this guilt loop without treating our apartment like a mausoleum?

Flimsy-Explorer-6420:
Your husband doesn’t want that. You don’t want that. Your MIL is the one that made the choice to keep junk. If she wants to keep it, then she can rent a storage room and keep it in there. I would drop it right back off at her house. Your husband needs to get over possibly offending her.

#20 I'm Prepping For Next Christmas

I'm seeing lots of posts already about MILs forcing OPs to come to MIL's Christmas for grandbaby's first Christmas. Not round here, partner!

We do every other Christmas with my family and his. However, I am newly pregnant and no one knows yet. I offered to spend Christmas with his family again this year even though we did last year. This way, next year, when MIL tries to pull something, i will have ammo to say "well, we went to yours twice in a row. It's my parents turn."

Oh I'm experienced in her guilt trips at this point. I'm planning Christmas 27 already, MIL! And it's not about you! Christmas this year is gonna be so sweet knowing that my baby won't have to spend it with her next year. It's a bummer that she has made me have to be so conniving, but I'm not going to spend such a special first with her and her opinions.

bakersmt:
I get it but a word of caution, she will likely try to hold you to the every other year is her year. So I wouldn't say that at all. My MIL used things like that to trap us into guilt trippy obligations like that. I gave my MIL my babies first Christmas and she just assumed she would have every other Christmas. She literally started planning the alternating Christmas thing on the first Christmas my daughter was alive. I never agreed to that or said we would be doing that. I actually decided then and there that she gets no more Christmases. And she hasn't, she's mad but whatever.

So take my advice, don't trap yourself into explaining or making excuses as to why you won't be there just tell her you won't.

#21 About Ready To Cut Her Off

I did a little photo shoot of my kids dressed up as ghostface and Jason Voorhees. My mother in law posted:
"I'm actually very disturbed by the pictures and comments she makes with the kids on facebook!!!!!!! "

Then again (to make sure everyone understood):
"Im actually very disturbed and disappointed by the pictures and comments of the kids on Facebook!!!! If DH saw this he would also be disturbed but he's not on facebook!! She's raising future scary kids!!!!"

First: ITS OCTOBER. We love scary stuff and it's fun to be scared and do scary stuff. They've never seen these movies but they know I like them.

Second: She posted this on my public profile picture change, on my grandmas comment of a laughing dog!

Third: I texted her son, who would be so disturbed!, a video of my son stalking me while I do a selfie and his sister is watching with her mask in the window. He thought it was hilarious.

What I want to say is if me and my children are so scary she does not have to see us anymore. What I did was block her on Facebook and told her son to handle it.

It's not like I'm glorifying actual killers like Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy. These are FICTIONAL movie characters.

I almost feel relieved that now I can be rid of her comments and jabs and all the other weird and rude stuff she does.

Zestyclose-Custard-2
-What I did was block her on Facebook and told her son to handle it.

Fantastic work here, you deserve a raise.

A difficult relationship with in-laws doesn’t just affect the person in question; it can also strain their bond with their spouse. According to research shared by Heart2Heart, nearly 80% of marriages fail because of toxic in-laws who interfere and become too controlling. They might not even realize they are overstepping, which later causes problems in their kids’ relationship.

That's why everyone needs to have an open, honest discussion with their partner about boundaries and stand up for them in front of their parents. This can be difficult at first, but it can build a better relationship with everyone and leave no room for resentment to fester.

#22 Mil Suddenly Remembers Her Entire To-Do List Whenever I'm Leaving

I'm starting to dread saying goodbye, which sounds ridiculous.

MIL is pleasant for most of a visit. Then I'm standing in the hall with my coat on and she remembers three things she needs help with. Moving a planter, finding a letter, fixing the settings on her television. Last Sunday I ended up staying another forty minutes. I had already spent the afternoon with her.

I've started asking when I arrive whether there's anything she needs done. Usually she says no. She also does this to my husband, so it isn't specifically aimed at me.

This week I told her before visiting that I needed to leave at five. At five she asked me to sort through a cupboard for something.

Me: I can do that next time.

MIL: I suppose I'll just manage on my own then.

I left. She later messaged that she hadnt realised spending time with her required an appointment. We had sat together for two hours and she'd shown me every picture from her gardening club.

My husband says I handled it fine. I'm still struggling with feeling unkind because the tasks themselves aren't unreasonable. It's the timing, every single visit.

How do you keep leaving from becoming a whole separate argument when you've already given plenty of notice?

Majestic_Barber6407
You can handle it one of two ways-

The way you did last visit (I think it was totally fine and appropriate, but it will hurt her feelings until she gets with the program)

The fake departure - 1 hour before you’d normally plan to leave, say you have to go. Then you’ll have time within your normally budgeted visit to complete her tasks.

You aren’t responsible for her feelings, but if it makes you feel better, option 2 will ease the tension a bit.

#23 Not Sharing C Section Date -Am I Being Mean?

My MIL told me she wants to know when I go into labor which I told her we won’t be telling anyone, she didn’t respond well on that then told me she wants to know when the baby drops, also weird request and won’t be doing that.

Now I need to have a C section and I told my husband, I don’t want them to know because then they will ask for the date and time and be texting us nonstop for updates which he’s agreed to and understands, so we will text them the next day after we’ve had time to settle with baby. But am I being too crazy? My in laws are very overwhelming and want to know everything.

My MIL has sons and thinks that she should have the kind of relationship with them that moms have with their daughters, she just lives in a delusional world. Originally she assumed she would come during birth and then stay with us for a week (never asked us, just assumed she was doing that) to help with recovery which my husband had to tell her absolutely not. This whole pregnancy she’s been acting like she’s trying to relive being pregnant it’s been so weird honestly.

oldhorsechick:
You’ve said she will text non stop when she thinks you’re delivering, now is the time to leave longer intervals before responding. Try to stretch your response time at least 24 hours for a week or more before your C section, that way if she happens to text/call while you’re in surgery she will not actually know about baby until you tell her.

#24 Mil Somehow Just Found Out We’re Pregnant

Freaking out a bit here. We’re about 7 months along with our first baby, and we have been no contact with MIL for around a year now. She’s only ever a source of stress, anxiety, and toxicity for us, so of COURSE we wouldn’t have informed her of the pregnancy. Our POV (thankfully, hubs and I are on the same page here 100%) is that blood does not give MIL any right whatsoever to a relationship with or access to our son.

Yet somehow, today, MIL found out that I’m pregnant and sent my husband a completely insane text cussing at him and making our news all about herself, of course.

While I want to give a good shake to whoever spilled the beans to her, if I’m being real, I kind of expected her to find out eventually because we have some mutual acquaintances, and we live in the same small city. And how would random acquaintances know about our situation with her. I just hoped it wouldn’t be until after I had given birth. This whole season has its own inherent stress (though lots of excitement and joy, too!), so I just really felt I did not want her adding to my stress levels since I want to be relaxed and at peace going into labor.

This literally just happened minutes ago. My stress levels are now skyrocketing, and I bet my poor husband is in complete panic mode. Due to her emotional hurt of him growing up, she instantly triggers his fight or flight reflex when she verbally attacks him like she did just now.

Anyways… any encouragement or advice welcome. Just sitting here with this huge pit of dread in my stomach. Ugh.

Lugbor:
There's an old CIA spy hunting technique that was designed for the purpose of finding the source of leaked information. Everyone you suspect gets a photo or story with something subtle altered in the details. When she freaks out and you see which version she got, you know who the mole is.

Dealing with a bad mother-in-law is painful, and nobody wants to go through it. Unfortunately, folks can’t choose their partner’s parents, so they have to do their best with the cards they’ve been dealt. Hopefully these stories serve as a lesson to approach family conflicts with empathy and try to be better to one another.

Do you have any crazy in-law stories you’d like to share? We’d love to hear from you.

#25 My Mil Demanded Her Own Room In Our New House

After years of living with my in-laws, my husband and I finally moved into our own home. Money was tight, but my MIL insisted we have a room made up for her because she might stay over.

I bought a perfectly decent bed for the spare room, specifically so she’d have somewhere comfortable to sleep.

She was furious. Apparently, the bed wasn’t good enough.

The funny part? She lived a few minutes away and never actually came to stay. Still not sure if she wanted a bedroom or a five-star hotel.

No_Today_4903:
Ha! My mil assumed that the fourth bedroom in our house would be a guest room aka her room when we moved in. I was pregnant! That was the nursery.

What was even better is she expected us to stay in that guest room and let her have our bedroom because yea. No way. She’s never set foot in this house.

Best part is that nursery is now a guest bedroom because the baby is now 14 and took over the bedroom down the hall. We finished another huge bedroom down in the basement with a bathroom. We haven’t spoken to her in close to a decade now.

It is nice when my parents or my aunt comes to visit, they have a nice room to stay in!

#26 We Saw Her At The Grocery Store

I haven’t spoken to the in laws in almost 4 years since they blew up about how my husband I were going to get married. They used that opportunity to also be upset about how their expectations of being grandparents weren’t met in our child’s first year of life.

We live in a small town, and since then I’ve run into them in public a few times and it would give me some kind of anxiety attack and really ruin my next couple days.

But I’m growing and have done a lot of work on myself.

I went to the grocery store with my four year old. And as we are walking in, my husband’s mother pulls in. We make eye contact and I continue on into the store. I didn’t turn around and leave. And I didn’t have a panic attack. We just got what we needed, and continued on as normal. We talked to a few people we knew and did our thing. My child never noticed anything was “up”.

I couldn’t help but notice that she took a pretty big detour to get her milk to avoid us and was super quick getting what she needed to get out there.

I’m proud of my growth.

BoozeAndHotpants:
Good for you! Time to make HER nervous about running into YOU for a change.

#27 'You Didn't Spend Easter Or 4th Of July With Us, Why Can't You Spend Christmas With Family Like A Normal Person'

This is what MIL told me not SO when we told them we would only be visiting for a couple hours instead of staying Christmas Eve. There is no real big fight or drawn out problems that have gotten us to make this decision There have been small things but honestly she actually tries to make some changes.

This year is our first year in our new home we wanted to spend time at home with the kids. All big holidays would be mostly spent at home. This time of year I go all out thanksgiving, Christmas and even Halloween are big things for the kids, MIL tries to get in early with plans.

But I guess with pushback this year she isn't taking it well.

When she looked at me and asked why we wouldn't spend Christmas with them I told her it was joint decision talk to SO. She didn't, When he spoke up and told his mom we had made the decision together and we wouldn't be changing our minds. She completely ignored him.

I guess I'm the bad guy here. I think I'm just going to ask SO once that if she continues she won't see any of us on Christmas.

singerbeerguy:
You deserve to make your own decisions about how you spend your holidays. 25 years ago when our oldest was 2, we announced to our families that, for the foreseeable future, we would be spending Christmas Day in our own house. Open invitation for them to join us if they wished, but our kids would have Christmas at our house. I don’t know that everyone liked it, but they respected it. You deserve the same respect of your decisions.

#28 Mils Never Learn Their Lessons Do They?

Last year, my MIL announced our pregnancy to others, and when called out on it, took no accountability, made excuses, and husband basically chewed her out and they didn’t talk for a bit, it was a whole thing.

This year she came to meet our newborn. When holding our baby she said “oh your cousin Sarah is pregnant! But it’s not public yet so don’t tell anyone”.

Sufficient-Split5214:
If you decide to have another child don't tell her about the pregnancy until you and DH have publicly announced it. She'll find out when everyone else does. If she whines about it tell her that it's because she can't keep her mouth shut.

#29 Pregnant With Twins And She Thinks Everything Has To Be Her Way

Hi everyone!

We are currently expecting our first children and are 27 weeks pregnant. Boy and girl twins!

My mother-in-law has gotten it in her head that we're going to f**k everything up and that we need her to come back to the home state and take over.

First it was the registry. Then it was where I wanted to give birth. Then it was vaccinations. Her kids are vaccinated but now she's anti-vaxx??? I don't get it. Then she wants us to move to her state because she can be so much more helpful! Especially with two kids.

Trust me, I get it.. I helped raise my siblings. Kids are hard. But I don't want to move out to her state and start over fresh just because "mommy" says so.

Idek what kind of advice to ask for at this point. Maybe it's more of a vent post. This pregnant mama is TIRED.

maybebabyg:
The phrase I used to shut my MIL down was "I will not be taking advice from anyone with children over 5." (MIL's youngest was older than me.) I also highly advise grey rocking: one word answers, do not elaborate, tell her things aren't her business, give her nothing.

At least my crazy pants anti-vaxx relative had great-gran around to tell her what it was like growing up before the polio vaccine.

Congrats on the twins. You're gonna rock this! Mine are 11 and the best advice I can give is find your local multiple birth group, we have AMBA in Australia and they are lifesavers.

#30 My Mil Basically Runs Away From Me Every Time I Hand Her The Baby

She always turns her back and gets to another room as quickly as she can. I’ve asked her not to do this and she still does. I know part of it might be that she doesn’t want my baby to cry or reach for me, but it seems like more than that. And my baby doesn’t even do that very often. And in fact, she cries more when my MIL runs out of the room with her. Today I was following her around trying to keep her in my line of sight and she was very intentionally trying to get away. I don’t think she should override a baby’s communication (asking for mom) or a mother’s request for her own gratification.

Sami_George:
MIL: “Can I hold the baby?”
You: “Are you going to run away with her again?”

#31 She Strikes Again!

So my MIL has this obsession with wanting to babysit my infant child alone because she "needs to bond" with her. When she was just SIX weeks old my MIL started asking to watch her alone etc. etc.... not only that her own daughter I heard once saying that the MIL needs to have one on one time with my baby. What the hell?

So, my husband and I had plans that got cancelled and I was happy about it because I do not want my kid being watched alone yet she is far too young and to be honest everyone in MIL's household has issues with focusing their attention (no offence to anyone) and no one pays attention to anything and I don't want my kid falling or getting something stuck in their throat because no one was paying attention. Besides, MIL has shown more than once that she doesn't put my kid's safety first, fed her food too big to chew and she started choking, baby broke out in hives after she wore perfume for like the 10th time even though I asked her not to because the baby has sensitive skin.

Anyway, fast forward to today, my husband and his mother had lunch together just them and she kind of attacked him saying it's not fair that she can't have alone time with HER grandkid... my husband told her it's weird that she is demanding alone time with an INFANT and when my kid can walk and talk then she can have her alone a few hours. He also explained that I as his wife if I am not comfortable leaving our INFANT child with anyone that she should respect it and stop being a massive jerk. She is so snotty her and her 4 other daughters, I know that they sit around and gossip I can totally feel the energy.

2FatC
“…that she should respect it and stop being a massive jerk“

Wow. It’s so inspirational to read about a courageous husband & father. I am raising my glass of 1908 Empress gin to your rock star man. Cheers!

#32 Telling In-Laws They Must Stay At Hotel Post Birth?

Hello,

So I now have to have a scheduled C section because my baby is breech and I’m worried about the recovery period. My in laws will have to come from out of town but I only want them visiting for like 3 nights maybe Thursday to Sunday and I want them to stay at a hotel since it will be maybe 3 or 4 weeks post C section, does that sound reasonable?
I’m also worried they will come and be at our house all day, I’d prefer the visit be shorter during the day time since I’ll be recovering but that convo might be more difficult since we will tell them to stay at a hotel.

My in-laws are both very loud, have to be hosted or have something planned for them and I know my MIL will want to hold the baby or hover over my every move with the baby so it’s just a lot to deal with when they come over plus they like to make criticisms and unwanted suggestions.

Mind you she also told my friends at my shower that we told her they can’t come to the hospital which isn’t true, we just gave them the option of hospital vs visiting later but said a hospital visit might be too short and there’s a lot going on since they have to fly in. She also followed me around my shower asking if baby was kicking so she can touch my belly without asking.. so she’s a lot.

helell33a:
Rules for guests after you give birth. 1. Mom and dad are not hosting. 2. Guest is here to support you and is required to help where needed. 3. Help means making dinner , grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry. 4. No baby grabbing unless asked to watch so mom can take a nap or shower. 5. Give baby back as soon as asked.

#33 Mil Has Essentially Ignored Our Pregnancy And Is Now Offering To "Drop Everything" To Come And Help With The Baby

2 year drama involving 3/4 of my husband's family at this point, and MIL is a key player in stirring stuff against us. Prior to this, they seemed like a relatively normal family so this is all new for my husband too.

Back in Feb, FIL spread some nasty rumors about me and made our whole conflict worse, so my husband challenged his parents over it via email and also let them know we were pregnant. I think we hoped that a new life coming into the world might give them some perspective and prompt them to go back to acting like normal humans or thereabouts.

MIL text him a few weeks later to say congratulations, and then immediately launched into her complaints about the tone of his email, tried a few more tactics like rewriting history etc. They spoke on the phone on two occasions because we still hoped for a healthy reconciliation at that time, but the conversations were a disaster. After a final text conversation in which my husband said that he wasn't going to go in circles with her, and needed assurance that the basic facts of the situation would be admitted, she decided to opt out.

She didn't ask a single question about the baby during those conversations. His family didn't know our due date, whether we were having a boy or girl etc but we figured they might come out of the woodwork around the time they might guess the baby was due.

Now, 6 months after their last conversation and not having checked on us in any way, MIL text my husband last night to say she loves us both, doesn't know if we've had the baby, but if we need any help then she'd drop everything to come help us. We live 3 states away and I cannot fathom why she thinks we'd have her set foot in our home, let alone give her access to our child after the way she's treated us both.

Utter lunatic.

Tlthree:
She is only after the baby, not either of you. Whether that is to play ‘good grandma’ for her friends, or baby rabies is not clear.

#34 Mil Posted Pics Of Our Baby Despite Us Saying We Aren’t Allowing His Face Online

The title says it all. I only found out because she added my mom on facebook. My partner (32) and I (32) had our son at the end of August and took LO to meet her when I was 4 days pp because it was her birthday. She posted full face photos (about 10 of them) on that day and conveniently didn’t tag my partner (even though she regularly does).

We had convos with our families while I was pregnant that we would not be sharing LO’s photo online & if anyone posted him they would have their photo and visit rights revoked and trust would be broken. My partner didn’t see the post & I removed her long ago for other reasons but she added my mother yesterday and I saw the post.

Partner said he would talk to her about it but I am just absolutely livid and I feel SO violated. We explained why we were keeping him offline & the nefarious nature of AI and she still went completely against our wishes. Do I also say something? Do I let him handle it?

Sami_George:
Stick to your word. Photo and visit rights have been revoked, trust is broken. Husband needs to handle this, and not gently.

#35 Planned Husbands Bday Without Me

I still can't believe this happened. My MIL is usually super passive, but on my husband's birthday, she innocently said she wanted to bring him a cake to his work (he was working on his bday). My husband complied. She took that window to invite my husband's brothers, papa, aunt & uncle. Brought a full sheet cake, cut it with plates & utensils, brought CANDLES (in a hospital!) and SANG HIM HAPPY BIRTHDAY (in English & then in Portuguese) IN THE LOBBY OF THE HOSPITAL WHILE HE WAS WORKING. ANNDDD did not even think to mention it to me!

My husband told me he was super embarrassed and annoyed - he had no idea anyone else was coming. And she had the gall to say "I hope you got to celebrate more earlier today!" like passive aggressive 'i hope your wife actually did something for you, but I know I did it better!' What the hell is wring with this lady.

Miserable-Ice683:
Candles…in a hospital…where there is supplemental oxygen plumbed through the walls? I would be GLAD I wasn’t involved in this if I were you, how embarrassing.

#36 Mil Keeps Blaming Me Every Time She Forgets My Birthday

My MIL keeps forgetting my birthday. I’ve been with my husband for almost 5 years and she already forgot my birthday twice. This year we just had a baby, and she invited herself over for a visit to “hold the baby” the day after my birthday. I told my husband that I think she forgot again this year, and he said that surely she must know and is just waiting to congratulate me when she comes over. But of course she forgot and didn’t mention a thing about it. When we visit his family again a month later for his sisters birthday, she somehow remembered it. But then she says to me in private, that she “is very upset with me.” And then she goes on to blame ME for her not remembering my birthday, because “that is my own fault for not inviting to a birthday party.” I have never held a birthday party for myself ever, and she knows that. I even told her that now we have kids, their birthdays will be the only birthday parties we throw.

So I told her again that I won’t be hosting a birthday party for myself, and if that upsets her, that I don’t expect any gifts or message from her in the future. And while it is true that I don’t care about gifts, I do care about getting a message on my birthday from supposed “family.” Especially when I am the one remembering every single one of their birthdays and I am even the one out finding the gifts for everyone, because my husband always forgets. So it would be nice to be shown the same courtesy from my in-laws, but I guess that will never happen because they just don’t care.

Fuzzy-Mushroom-1933:
Drop the rope. Stop remembering their birthdays and buying gifts. If your husband forgets that’s on him. There is no reason that it should be your responsibility to source gifts and remind your husband that it’s his own blood family’s birthday. Give them the same amount of effort that they are giving you. Zero

#37 My Mil Insists To See My Bare Pregnant Belly

Ever since I got pregnant and my belly started growing she's been insisting that she wants to see "the baby bump". So we've been sharing photos like once a month of us somewhere with the belly visibly growing, but it always seemed like that's not what she wants to see. When we were on vacation she was insisting to send her a picture of the baby bump while on the beach, so I sent a picture in a dress with a text saying I'm feeling very conscious of my body changing and only feel comfortable sharing pictures in clothes and she was like sure sure, I understand. I'm 9 months pregnant now and lately she's been complaining to my husband that she feels excluded from my pregnancy (like w*f, as if my pregnancy is supposed to be some sort of inclusive community-involving experience, w*f) and that she still hasn't seen a photo of the baby bump. I asked my husband if he thinks she wants to see my full naked belly (because we've shared a lot of pictures of me with a visible belly so far) and he looked embarrassed and said "I think so".

Now I'm genuinely wondering, why the hell would a grown woman want to see a bare belly of another pregnant grown woman? I'm confused and wonder if anyone else had a similar experience with their MILs. Is it them being nosey and intrusive? Trying to set some power dynamic? To bond? Like why would she NEED to see that and insist about it for 9 months straight?

MistyMooseOnTheLoose:
I'd send a photo of your husband's naked belly the next time she asks.

aizarphilia:
Does... does she think you're faking the pregnancy?

WHATS CRACKIN

37 Mother-In-Laws Who Brought More Horror Than Halloween Ever Could