As much as you might not like to admit it, big tech companies know a lot of information about you. Every time you agree to their terms of service or log into their website with your Facebook account, they instantly have access to more data than you'd probably feel comfortable sharing with anyone you know personally.

Typically, we have no way of knowing exactly what these companies know about us. But Amazon shoppers recently noticed that they could see some insights into how the company perceives them, and the results have gone viral. Here's a list of some of the most hilarious observations Amazon has made about its customers, so enjoy scrolling through, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you laugh!

#1

I am a 40 year old woman (with friends).

#2

I feel called out & seen at the same time and I don’t know how to feel about that…

#3

Mine were all pretty tame, books I like, has a dog, has a cat. And then this!

It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that Amazon keeps extremely detailed records on all of its customers. Whether you shop online for books, clothes, furniture, or supplies for your hobbies, your purchases say something about you.

But some things are better left unknown. You don’t need to know everything that other people think about you or say behind your back, and you probably don’t need to know what assumptions big tech companies have made about you. If curiosity has gotten the best of you, though, TechCrunch shared an explanation of how to find out if Amazon thinks you have “flat buttocks.”

#4

He does actually.

#5

I'm.

#6

LMAO.

You can find this information by clicking on “Account” on Amazon and then going to the “Your Account” section. Click on “Ordering and shopping preferences,” then “Your Shopping preferences.” If you scroll to the bottom of the page, you’ll see “Manage your information.” From there, you’ll be able to see exactly what the tech giant thinks of you.

Obviously, all of their assumptions may not be correct. You could have purchased something for a friend or family member that they assumed was for you, or you might have browsed items that you’d never actually purchase yourself. But this page is a reminder that big tech companies know so much more about us than we often realize.

#7

My 6 year old has to be stopped, because now Alexa thinks I can’t type.

#8

I don’t think befriending a squirrel is weird either.

#9

I am CRYING.

According to research by Security.org, of all the big tech companies, Google keeps the most data on its users. They keep track of everything from your address to comments you leave on YouTube. They don’t keep customers’ Social Security numbers or driver’s license numbers, but that’s not saying much considering how much info they do have. They even share your data with various third parties, such as advertisers, publishers, and developers.

#10

Thanks for pointing this out, Amazon…

#11

Found on my mom's amazon acct lmao.

#12

…what?

Unsurprisingly, Meta also keeps a close eye on its users’ data. They don’t keep track of quite as much as Google, but they do collect data on your payment information and contact info from your devices. Of course, they also keep track of your location and share your information with plenty of third-party advertisers. That’s why you’ll often see hyper-specific targeted ads pop up on Facebook or Instagram.

#13

It's actually my left eye but this is still uncomfortably specific??

#14

I got called out:.

#15

I love what, now???

Amazon, on the other hand, actually does store users’ Social Security numbers and driver’s license numbers, along with stored photos and videos, stored documents, and contact info from devices. They aren’t keeping track of emails you write and receive or comments you leave on YouTube, though; they leave that to Google. One good thing about Amazon, however, is that they actually allow users to opt out of having their data shared with third parties.

#16

The accuracy is important to me, so these are fine.

#17

This is awesome. I am not a dad

#18

Guilty as charged ¯_(ツ)_/¯.

On Security.org’s data collection scoring system, the company that actually performed the best was Apple. Receiving an A+, Apple collects minimal data on users compared to many other tech giants. They were also the only company to not source any information about users from publicly accessible sources. They may, however, use third parties to verify information that users provide to them, such as the address that is associated with a user’s credit card number.

#19

Why does it even know this?!

#20

Behahahahaha amazon. You right. But damn. It also knows I own a dog.

#21

Mine got deep.

Now, you might be wondering why we should care about our data privacy at all. In this day and age, it is hard to have any control over our information. But the European Union says data protection is a fundamental right protected by law. Plus, data privacy helps to prevent fraud and cybercrimes, which can save consumers plenty of time and money. We deserve to be able to protect our information, even if big tech companies don’t think so.

#22

That was supposed to be between me and Alexa.

#23

I mean. Yes.

#24

Well that’s uncalled for Amazon.

We would love to hear your thoughts on these assumptions made by Amazon, pandas. Have you checked your own account to see what they think of you? And do you think it’s appropriate for them to keep this kind of information? Then, if you’re looking for another article from Bored Panda featuring Amazon, look no further than right here!

#25

What could I possibly have done to suggest this.

#26

I WISH!

#27

This is cracking me up bc it’s like “likely does this, likely does that” but it’s SURE I have a hamster. I do not have a hamster.

#28

True but rude lol.

#29

💀💀💀

#30

Bye.

#31

💀

#32

Seeing everyone get read for filth and meanwhile my Amazon isn’t even fully confident that I’m not homeless. Y’all need to get more mysterious ASAP.

#33

Ok but actually.

#34

This is embarrassing.

#35

One time Alexa told me it was 69 degrees out and I said “nice”.

#36

This one cracked me up. What? But also this is horrifying...

#37

I may have said some things.

#38

Um, not sure how Amazon got to that last conclusion…

#39

I genuinely have no clue.

#40

It was one time!!!!

#41

Do you think it’s worked out what sort of literature I like?

#42

Alexa was being so pushy about it. Maybe I was too stern but I did tell her no I will not let you personalize my echo experience.

#43

I do not own a company.

#44

From the most specific to most general info lol.

#45

What?

#46

Excuse me how dare they call me out like that.

Also I love that it thinks I “likely” live in my home city. Yes it’s the city in my home address and also where literally everything gets delivered but there is a chance it’s all a ruse and I actually live in an entirely different part of the country.

#47

Where the HELL did this come from?????

#48

Why yes, yes I do.

#49

Oh really? The crazy part is that I vaguely remember this? Or is it a fever dream?

#50

I hyperfixate on maple chicken sausage ONE time and all of a sudden that’s all I am.

#51

I sound like I would be incredibly fun at parties.

#52

Oh great.

#53

STOP.

#54

I mean, okay I guess.

#55

I beg your pardon??? I do not eat salad.

#56

This is way too loud.

#57

I raise you this.

#58

What?! How is this even a thing? I don’t even know if I can legitimately recall a time I’ve seen what this is referring to.

#59

My son is always talking to Alexa. Apparently he is the customer here. “Customer’s mom…” I am the customer.

#60

It’s a good hobby, I guess.

#61

I mean yes but wth.

#62

Mine is way less specific.

#63

It feels so judgy?

63 Hilarious Observations That Amazon Made About Shoppers Based On Their Purchases

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