Some secrets are complicated enough that no one in their right mind would really feel it’s worthwhile to share. That being said, there is something cathartic about being able to get things off your chest, even if it’s not to anyone who is actually affected.

A netizen asked “What secrets do you have that you would take to the grave with you, but would be willing to share anonymously?” and people shared their examples. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and, if you are brave enough, share your own examples in the comments down below.

#1

I have a rare disease that will leave me blind. This isn’t a run of the mill I was born blind or in one day I will lose all my eyesight. My disease will slowly degrade away where I would walk down the street thinking I see something but then I run into a pole because I didn’t see it. It gets embarrassing trying to hide that I am almost completely blind to everyone one I know. Another part of the disease is that I am deaf. I was born completely deaf and never heard sound.

This isn’t what I am taking to the grave with me. My secret is that I have been planning on going to the Netherlands and euthanizing myself when I lose most of my vision and can’t stand not being able to see. When you can’t hear and you lose your sight you pretty much become a burden to society and can’t do anything.

#2

I love to sing. It's so bad that I won't even subject my husband or kids to it, but I'll sing my heart out on my long commute to and from work.

#3

There’s part of me that’s always felt so guilty about this, but the other part of me thinks that I did the right thing. When my mother-in-law was in hospice, we had gotten the call that her last rights were being read to her and we should come because it was very close. The family gathered in her room, my father in law (her husband of 42 years) had been by her side and hadn’t left for days. We were there for hours, my sister in laws had to take there kids home at some point, so they had left and it was just my husband, me, and my FIL left. The nurses were saying that they might have spoken to soon because she was still hanging on, it was awful to watch. My FIL looked ragged and tired and he said he was just going to go to the other floor for a cup of coffee, my husband went with him. I said I would call if something changed but he was only going to be gone for 15 minutes maybe. About 5 minutes after they left my MIL really started to have very labored breathing, I called the nurse to see what was happening and by the time she came to the room (maybe 2 minutes) she had past. I asked the nurse to wait for me to get my FIL and husband back to the room to pronounce her unalive. They rushed back and my FIL held her and after a minute the nurse and doctor pronounced. My FIL believes he made it back to the room and was holding her while she left this life, I have never told him or my husband. Only me and that sweet nurse know she was already gone. I have debated telling my husband this but he’s always said he was comforted by watching his dad hold his mom when she passed away. I know I will never tell my FIL this, when he talks about her he always mentions how he was there for that moment and I don’t want to take that away from him. It would crush him. Part of me thinks she waited for everyone to leave the room so they didn’t have to actually see her go, she was always worried about everybody else. I’ve never told anyone.

If you happen to have something on your chest that you can’t quite share, here is a number that might make you feel a little less alone. Researchers at Columbia Business School surveyed people about what they keep to themselves and found that the average person is holding on to 13 secrets, five of which had never been told to a soul before the survey came along. That is one crowded mental attic.

According to a research digest from the British Psychological Society, the real trouble is not the awkward moments when you have to hide something from a friend or coworker. It is the quiet moments in between, when your mind drifts back to the secret again and again. In the studies it covers, people thought about their secrets far more often than they had to conceal them, and those frequent mental visits lined up with lower life satisfaction.

#4

My mother told me, and only me, about the fact that my dad cheated on her years ago. He traveled for his job and one day a letter came addressed to him that was mangled. My mother would never open mail or pry, but this letter started with "Dearest love" - she could only see it because the mail sorter had ripped it.

I don't know the full details, as my mom did not share them all. I don't know why she decided to tell me and not my other 4 siblings. She said she decided to stay with dad because she had 5 children and didn't think she could make it alone. She loves him still at age 83, but did also say about 20 years ago that she should never have stayed with him and should have left him after the first baby. I love both my parents and my family, so I will never share this. It will go to her grave with her as she probably no longer remembers it - lost to dementia as are so many of her memories. Dad takes care of her to the best of his ability and they still live together. Mom still has her house she loves.

#5

My mother only told me when I was an adult, that I had an older half-brother who was given up for adoption.

I grew up with the identity of being the eldest sibling, and she asked me not to tell my other siblings. We had a very stable and loving childhood, but it’s odd to view things through that lens and wonder who this person is. I now carry that weight (guilt?), because I’m torn between honoring her wish, and feeling like I’m deceiving my own siblings. What would you do?

#6

During my sister’s first marriage I knew that she and her husband at the time were having problems because when I was at their home I saw that my sister was “keeping score” on the wall calendar: of events he’d missed or times he’d been late. She’d write a snarky comment on the date. I said nothing because she wasn’t talking to me about it but they eventually divorced.

Her second marriage is to a wonderful man, an architect. In their second year of marriage he took on a client that had him working long irregular hours and my sister was frustrated because he was never home and was missing family activities. I was over there for dinner one night and her husband was late again. My sister scrawled “late for dinner AGAIN!” on the calendar date and marched upstairs. I felt she was being irrational because her new husband was a great guy so I interfered for the first and only time ever in her adult life: I added “littlefoot352 was” in front of the “late for dinner AGAIN!” on the calendar.

When her husband came home I was sitting in the dining room by myself. I saw him look at the calendar, look at me, sigh and the take the pen and scribble it out completely and quickly. Then after saying hello he called my sister downstairs and presented her with the plans he’d drawn up for her dream kitchen. The project he’d been kdoing so hard was so that he could afford the remodel...for her.

My sister later told me how overwhelmed she was that he forgave her for writing that comment in a fit of anger. She’ll never do it again.

Other research even found that people preoccupied with a secret act as if they are hauling around extra physical weight, which is a rather dramatic way for the brain to say it needs a break. So why does typing it out for strangers feel so good? A big part of the answer is anonymity. Psychologist John Suler, who wrote the classic paper on the online disinhibition effect, explains that people open up more online because they feel less vulnerable when their words cannot be linked to the rest of their lives.

#7

I dated this wonderful guy for a few months, it was short but he was my first serious relationship. He was really sweet, he made me laugh and I opened up to him about everything. While on a trip to see his family I broke up with him out of fear because we didn’t share the same beliefs. I was afraid it would eventually break us up. The truth is I didn’t give my decision any thought and regretted it soon after. I joked and told him it’s a good thing I never said “I love you”. The night we broke up was the night I realized I was in love with him but the damage was already done. I tried asking to start over but he’d already moved on. I fell in love with him and I didn’t even know. Months later it’s still my biggest regret. That night instead of ending our relationship I wish I told him how much I loved him. Till this day no one knows how much that decision has been eating at me. Not even my closest friends.

#8

My mom still thinks that my dad didn’t gave her permission to take me out of the country to live with her, because he wanted to keep me

Truth is, I told my dad I wanted to stay with him. I didn’t want to live with her because I was scared of her (had/still has a little of a bad temper).

#9

Went to my kid’s cross country meet with wife and kids one Saturday morning. It was my first time at this event, tons of participants, and very few restrooms..(like 800+ participants + spectators and only ONE men’s room). Well the line for the restroom is out the door and my stomach was gurgling. Bad.

I told my wife i forgot something in the minivan so I went back. Fortunately there was a mason jar my wife planned on using for some art project. I put the seat down as best i could, squatted, and filled up the jar with the most fouling smelling feces you can imagine. I was parked along an area with some brush and trees so I left the jar there.

My big fear now is that the jar is still there (a few years later), somebody commits a horrendous crime, police sweep the area and find my DNA there.

He also describes a gentler flavor of the effect, where people share honestly and without hostility, perhaps to find support or a little closeness. Think about what a confession usually costs in real life. Tell a friend and you risk a changed look across the table. Tell a relative and you might hear about it at every holiday gathering until the end of time.

#10

When I was 30, I was in a relationship with a man I would marry two years later. We intentionally got pregnant. About a month into the pregnancy, I decided I did not want to have children. I went and got an abortion and told him I miscarried. We were married for 13 years and have been divorced for 16 but are still friends. I never told him the truth

#11

I have always had the feeling that I will pass away young and actually don't really mind. I know my family will miss me and I would hate that I can't see my niece and nephew grow up but if I pass of natural causes, what are you going to do?

Though I'm starting to push it with being 31 now.

#12

There a only 2 people and 3 dogs keeping me here. When they are gone I will go too.

Tell strangers on the internet and the most likely response is a shrug, a kind word, or a reply admitting something equally wild. There is no awkward silence, no follow up call, and no need to manage anyone’s feelings. You post it, you close the tab, and the secret now lives somewhere other than your head.

#13

I laugh at all my dads jokes because he finds them so funny. I never understand the jokes or ever think they’re funny, its because he’s from a different generation and an immigrant so his jokes are just from a different place. I’ll fake laugh at a 1000 jokes until the muscles on my face go limp if it makes that man happy.

#14

I saw my father in law kiss another woman behind his dental practice. It was years ago and I’ve never seen any indication that he has done it again. But I have never told anyone. I’ve never been able to justify sharing it and I don’t even think my mother in law would believe me if I said anything. Historically, she is not a fan of me.

Anyway; now you know.

#15

I used to ‘hide’ my tips from work when I was in my teens and I knew my mom and sister would take the money. I worked a lot through high school. But I felt they needed it more than me, so I never told them I knew.

None of this is new, by the way. In 2004, a man named Frank Warren invited strangers to mail him a secret on a homemade postcard as a community art project. CBS News reports that more than a million postcards have since landed in his mailbox, and he has spent years talking about the power of releasing a secret. He has also said that he started recognizing his own secrets in the cards sent by strangers. Nobody needed an audience that knew their names. They needed somewhere to put the thing down.

#16

My family still doesn't know I was arrested for reckless driving and spent a night in jail. I was a few years out of high school and had been working two jobs for the last few years trying to get out of generational poverty. Ended up buying the car I wanted to reward myself, so I bought a 370z.

It was modded to all heck and I got in with the wrong group of people. Lived with this guy who I thought was a friend. We were driving fast on the backroads but when we got to the next town we saw police lights on the main road, we thought they were for us.. I accepted I was going to get a ticket but he dipped. Split second I chose to follow him, doing stupid things to dodge the police. The only reason I didn't get worse charges is because I was open with the officers about everything.

When I complained a year later about my insurance sky rocketing (because of my own dumb fault) they asked why it went up. I just blamed it on having a fast car and my age.

That friendship ended with that roommate soon after this. I packed my bags and moved to another state to focus on myself after that and get myself right.

#17

When I was a teenager, I got really drunk and my friend dared me to defecate in someone's front garden. I did. Months later my mother moved into the house and the feces were still in the garden, she went mad about people not cleaning up after their dogs.

My mother cleaned my feces out of her garden.

#18

I purposly farted in front of the president when I met him. I know he smelled it. I could see it in his eyes. We shook hands and haven't spoken since.

#19

When I was like 6 or so I picked up my cat by the tail and swang it around and launched it across the room. 16 years later the fact I did such a thing keeps me up at night. No one knows. The memory came back to me once as a teen and it was like 'uh yeah that was incredibly horrible'. I love animals.

#20

The only "secret" I have is that my dad inherited millions in the last year from his parents and began transferring my sibling and I some pretty hefty funds. Before this, we were already super savers and very financially witty. Now, although I'll still say to friends "oh I've gotta save money, let me check if I can swing it", I secretly know that I'm set for life and can afford almost anything reasonable (week trips, material items, etc). Gun to my head, nobody in my circle will ever know.

#21

I threw 10 packs of dandelion seeds and 10 bamboo in someone’s yard that made me mad. They were annoying people.

#22

I might be bi or gay I don't really know which is which I'm still confused. I had a girlfriend before but after we broke up, my heart got really broken and since then I like the same gender more. I haven't tried any dates or any relationships with the same gender. Because my dream is to have my own kids. I'm also scared that my family will be disappointed in me. I'm basically faking everything about me.

#23

When I was a kid I once poured out the apple juice out of carton and replaced it with orange juice.

#24

Not as serious as other comments but here we go...
A couple of weeks before the birthday of a good friend, I found out that she doesn’t consider herself pretty even if her boyfriend always tells her she is, obviously. At her birthday party the three of us were drunk and I don’t remember why but she asked me if I found her hot; thinking about the fact that she thinks she isn’t I said yes hoping that it would make her happy and that will be the and of it... WRONG!!!
She was happy about it but now she keeps telling everyone that I find her hot and sometimes it can get quite awkward since she even says it when it’s not really appropriate. I would never tell her the truth about why I told her she is hot, but the truth is... i don’t think she is.

#25

I made a twitter account badmouthing everyone in my classroom and a few people suspected it was me but I got away with it and no one knows who it actually was.

#26

I bought several Rolexes by emptying my bank account. And my mom and dad never noticed.

#27

I'm a pretty good singer. My little sisters have been making me sing them lullabies and whatnot to sleep for years, and when we're alone they force me to do karaoke with them. Other than the five people who read this, only they know that I sing.

#28

I blame myself for my mum’s passing. If I had been stricter and put more effort into convincing her to get chemotherapy earlier, she might still be here today.

#29

That I might be kleptomaniac and it's became harder to control it over it years.

#30

I have a strange and STRONG fear of males. I don't know where it came from but I'm afraid to be alone with a dude. The only males i'm comfortable around is ones i'm REALLY close with, like my dad and close friends. One time I went into an elevator alone and a man stepped in after me. As the doors closed I stayed far on the other side (which wasn't far enough to calm the fear) and a wave of anxiety hit me and I felt like I was going to vomit. I broke into a sweat and the elevator ride couldn't have felt longer. We were only going down one floor and it felt as if we were going down 50 stories. I rushed out when the doors finally opened and then I became aware of this strange fear.

#31

I blamed a guy that had social anxiety for a mistake I made at my job and he got fired cause he was too afraid to deny it.

#32

I saw grandpa drop one of the cooked steaks, pick it up, put it on the plate.

#33

I met a guy when I joined a gay/gay friendly soccer team who had just joined at the same time I did. He was really hot, but we didn’t get along very well. Eventually, after a few group outings we got to know each other better. We were both in relationships and a friendship blossomed. His bf however, was extremely insecure and very attention hungry. (Later i found out he’s also a pathological liar) anyway, the bf used to make lots of rude comments to me in regards to my friend. He was younger, so it made sure to remind me I was older and his bf would never be into anyone my age. He was very smooth and skinny while I was stockier and had body hair and a beard, another thing my friend was not “into”. His bf challenged me in a way that tapped into my vindictive side. I used my charm and wit and started having a secret affair with my friend that lasted for over 2 years. Up until his bachelor party the weekend before their wedding. There was also a short period where they broke up and my friend alluded that he might be in love with me. I told him I didn’t feel the same way and that this arrangement was just for fun, as we had agreed on. A week later they were back together and engaged a month after that. Since they got married we are definitely not as close and don’t even play soccer together anymore.

#34

I will always regret not being more forward in my first serious relationship. I think I missed my best chance at a happy life with some one else all because I couldn't sort out my own hang ups and I doubt I can ever get back to where I was with them.

#35

That the only thing that keeps me from going really low and trying to become something in life is my family. Not really a big wow secret but something.

#36

Ever since I was a little kid, Ive had nightmares every night. Sometimes it was a fairly good dream and then it would turn into something scary towards the end and sometimes it would be bad the whole time. I never told my parents because both of them are from NY and have big families so they share everything. I wish I had the confidence to tell them but deep down I know theyd tell their siblings and I just dont want my aunts and uncles knowing something that personal. Also I know they’d blame themselves for me not telling them. Around last spring, I told one of my friends about it, shes into the paranormal so her first thought was that I was haunted. Im a skeptic so I didnt really think that was it but who knows. So that night I thought to myself, if I really am being haunted, its getting in my head so I dont need to say anything out loud, I can just think threatening stuff and that should do it. So I threatened “it” with lighting a white candle because supposedly that protects the household. I didnt have any dreams that night. Since then Ive assumed it was a placebo affect but since then Ive had nightmares about once a month so Im not complaining. Anyways, I recently found out that I checked off all the boxes for severe nightmare disorder which is a real thing btw, but as long as I dont start having them again I dont really care.

#37

I have been married for several years but unhappy for a large portion of those years. Not only does my spouse not know that, but he doesn’t know I hooked up with a married guy from another state on a recent work trip. My husband will forgive many things but cheating is not one, and I am not in a financial position to leave right now anyway.

#38

Every now and then I feel like I'm never going to be completely happy. Sure I have my good days, but the others are usually filled with questions like "What I never achieve my academic goals?" and "When am I ever going to get out of economic situation?"

#39

I accidentally washed my key fob 2 months after getting my car and pretended like it didn’t happen. Husband assumed it was defective. Nope, I’m defective.

#40

I hate my mother in law. She’s a narcissistic, controlling, victim-playing, witch. Her adult children subconsciously walk on eggshells to make sure they’re never upsetting her.

I wish she realised/I could tell her (without ruining everything) how much she’s messed up her son.

#41

I’m a regular guy in my 50s in a conservative tradition but dress in woman’s clothes and use a wig and do make up a couple times a month to take videos and put in the internet. I have over 16K followers on TikTok and over 4K subscribers on YouTube. Just me modeling women’s clothes and sometimes doing a dance. Not sure this will go to my grave but so far no one who knows me as my boy self realizes this (at least not that I’m aware).

#42

I heard mom telling my Dad she knew he had a daughter out of marriage. I was under the bed and mom doesn’t knows I know. Father is gone now but I won’t telling my siblings.

#43

I cheated in pretty much every exam in my first degree. For one reason or another I sat my exams separately from my class with an exams office person sat outside. I had the business card of the exams person in my pencil case and nobody ever questioned it. I had tiny little notes written in pencil on the back of it. Things like references and formulas that we had to use. Got the grade I needed to get into medical school where cheating was impossible and I never actually needed to cheat anyway as they tested actual knowledge and not your ability to remember specific references. Passed medical school without ever cheating again, now a doctor.

#44

My mother is a hoarder living with my brother who is non verbal, my father is homeless, and they don’t accept my help. I’m trying to not stay depressed and reconnect with my younger sister so she can have the courage to move out.

#45

I had a car I loved. It was black. One day some albertros defecated all over it. I just got a kitchen sponge and started cleaning the feces off with the scourer side. Messed up my paint work worse than if I had left the feces on it. I couldn’t believe I was so stupid!! Haven’t told anyone that …. Just all of you’s.

#46

Im not a bad liar but I have convinced people that I am. Even to the point that they say that openly about me. I orchestrated this. I am an excellent liar and nobody but the strangers on Reddit will know!

#47

My family weren't well off at all moneywise. So much so that whenever things were extremely tough when I was a young teen I'd imagine it would be easier if 1 of my siblings passed away (large family) and would try to figure out which one's end would be the least noticeable. One of my siblings passed away a few years ago and I sure as hell am never telling my family that those thoughts ever crossed my mind. If I'd known back then how losing 1 of them would feel I would never of entertained the idea.

#48

When I was 13 my mom punished me in diapers for the summer and treated me like a baby. I started liking the attention and kept wetting the bed at night and actually needed them. Wore night diapers until I was 17.

#49

I prefer McDonald's over Wendy's but my wife would leave me if I told her.

#50

I went through some pretty scary hallucinations for years in my youth. And by scary I mean so weird my brain wont accept not remember the full extent. In my late teens when I finally sought a therapist and help I was already getting better. But what I'll never share is that deep inside of me I'm not so sure what I saw and heard were made up in in my head. Even now if I dont get enough sleep I see them lurking in the corners of my vision, urging me to do terrible things.

#51

Well, there's something you don't know about me. I read an article saying that growing almonds was bad for the environment, and yet I continued to use almond milk in my coffee.

#52

A manager I worked for. I respected the guy so much. He was married with several now adult children and his wife's was in the hospital. One night I saw him sneak off with a women he had just met.

It felt like a punch in the guts. I never mentioned it to him or anyone else.

#53

I have to fake emotions constantly. I do feel, sometimes. Some things do genuinely make me happy, sad, etc. But otherwise I just don't care. Sometimes it's easy to hide, other times my fiance notices and asks and I have to play it off as something else or make up a story to fit. I've tried to fix it, but I didnt know how to start or what to do. First time anyone has known this. No one else knows except you internet strangers.:).

#54

Back in High School I had this friend who I hung out with during spare/study hall. One day she asks if I do her English homework she’ll pay me $20.
So my unemployed self at the time agreed and she gives me the twenty. I gloss over the writing assignment and type up a quick essay.
She gets a zero on it and the teacher asks her to redo the assignment. I will never not feel terrible about it. She also blocked me on every social media platform and ignored me for the rest of HS.
I deserved it.

#55

The only way that I properly reason with myself and make decisions is by actually talking like there’s the angel-me and devil-me next to me.

#56

I will never tell anybody in real life what I actually think or what I actually feel because then they would be sad and worried and I don’t want that for them.

#57

I have never had Covid so I faked positive test with a red pen. Took a photo sent to work and husband any enjoyed five days of quarantine, watching movies and ordering door dash. I guess it was FOMO or just tired of taking care of everyone else.

#58

I robbed a bank in Miami when I was a freshman in college in 1988 and got away with it.

#59

I'm naturally very observant and have a visual-oriented memory, remembering minor details of past events; so I know a lot about not just facts, but even the lives of my friends and family, stuff they have no idea that I know. Things that they might even consider to be secrets.

When I was a kid I was more straightforward about the information I know, which always rubbed people the wrong way, and I was often called a "know it all."

Now, I keep my cards close, never showing my hand. I've learned that it's much more pleasant for everyone involved when I play ignorant and ask questions that I already know the answer to. Because of this, I also know what questions to ask to keep the other person talking longer.

It may sound manipulative, I don't know if it is or not. But I see it as this: instead of me being cold and dismissive (like I used to be) I can start a good conversation and show my interest, giving the other person the space to share with me anything.

I don't "know everything," I am the first to admit true ignorance. There is no shame in not knowing, only in refusing to learn. But I do know far more than most people understand about me.

Edit: Removed the dubious term "photographic memory" in favor of more specificity.

#60

It was me that defecated in my aunts pool. Didn’t mean to, i was 7 and it just came out like a torpedo.

#61

I've been married for seven years and about five years ago, discovered that my father-in-law had grindr installed on his phone. "That's weird," I thought to myself but didn't think too much on it as we were busy and really, what would I have said? Later on I learn that he's been regularly going to out of town conferences alone for "work". These were expensive my MIL was complaining about the cost, and they didn't really seem to add value to his work. Then I put two and two together.

Anyway, I don't condone cheating, but I have no idea how I would raise this to my wife. I don't technically have proof but besides learning these things and seeing him flirt with people, I'm very confident he's been sneaking off for affairs. It doesn't help that he's reaching an early dementia stage and is becoming increasingly erratic/forgetful.

#62

I read my bf’s sisters chats with her parents talking bad things about me. They act so nice to me in person and it was a slap in the face for me. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since! Oh, they were also plotting to break us up:)).

#63

My bulimia caused a pipe to burst in the house while no one was home. $120,000 in damages.

#64

I made up an imaginary person in my head. She’s me in a sense, but she’s more like everything I want to be. She’s a twenty-something gorgeous, confident, kind, talented actress in Hollywood that everyone likes. I’ve created everything for her, movies that she was in, her birthday, her relationships, her friends, her family, what she looks like, her hobbies. It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud. Whenever my mind is wandering, or I’m upset. I just imagine I’m her and live out scenarios like movies, red carpets, or interviews. She is pretty much a real person in my mind. I Would never tell anyone this. They would all think I’m crazy.

64 Personal “Skeletons In The Closet” That People Had The Courage To Anonymously Unveil Online

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