LAS VEGAS—Seemingly unbothered by his disgrace as he sauntered through the glass doors and onto the Las Vegas Strip, coward Kevin Lombardo reportedly left the Flamingo casino Friday even though he still had a full $200 in his wallet. “I sat there and actually watched that spineless piece of shit miss on his corner bet, gather up $200 in chips, and say, ‘Well, that’ll do it for tonight, boys and girls,’” said fellow roulette player Marty Chun, adding that it wasn’t even 11 p.m. and Lombardo still had the whole night to man up and put it all on the fucking line. “Everyone at the table was just stunned as we watched this dude get up and cash out. Like, for what? To pay his rent? Feed his kids? Screw that. Sit your ass down and slap those chips on red like you’ve got a working pair of balls. You keep playing till you’re rich or broke, motherfucker.” Sources later confirmed that the $200 Lombardo had prudently set aside was stacked on the dresser in his hotel room and being carefully counted by a prostitute. 

The post Coward Leaves Casino With $200 Left In Wallet appeared first on The Onion.