WTFIsCrackin
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Husband’s Secret Texts To His Mom About His Wife’s Postpartum Body Leave Her Wishing He’d Cheated

Husband’s Secret Texts To His Mom About His Wife’s Postpartum Body Leave Her Wishing He’d Cheated

| Bored Panda | By Erika Saikovskytė

Every relationship takes a certain amount of trust. Not to be too grandiose, but it’s very much how humans have survived, particularly during and after pregnancy. The modern world is a lot more safe, but that doesn’t mean we expect our partners to just be negligent.

A woman turned to the internet for advice after discovering texts to his mom where he complained that she hadn’t “bounced back” from pregnancy as quickly as he would have liked. He was so concerned that an upcoming family trip had him worrying. Folks online weighed in and shared their suggestions.

Carry a child for nine months is hard work

Andres Ayrton / Pexels (not the actual photo)

So one woman was surprised that her husband didn’t like her post pregnancy body

shajeelahmed / Magnific (not the actual photo)

shurkin_son / Pexels (not the actual photo)

u/randomlosttoes

Wavebreak Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Readers didn’t have much good to say about the dad

Amazing fathers don't treat the mother of their children the way he's treating you. You should raise your standards.

\> Never complains about the nighttime feedings or the blowouts or the mess. He’s never complained about his infant needing fed at night or needing a diaper change or the general disarray that a new baby comes with? Whoa! Call the press, we’ve got a saint! No, seriously like are you absolutely kidding me? He hasn’t complained about the tasks that will keep his own child, at the bare minimum, alive? Please read what you wrote again. Nighttime feedings, full diapers and things not in their place are par for the course with a newborn especially at the first. ***Do not*** give him points for being okay with his own child waking up for a feeding or having a full diaper be so serious.

An amazing father doesn’t treat the mother of his child like s**t.

Friend, while he's at the gym every day, who's taking care of the baby? He doesn't *complain* about the things normal parents are supposed to do? Whoop de doo. Is he supporting YOU? Is he giving you an hour to take a bath or read a book alone? Are you able to maintain your friendships, take a Saturday off to go have fun with your girls while he takes care of his child? Before you can even think about "bouncing back" which just means recovering from the major medical events pregnancy and birth and the newborn phase (which was just weeks ago) he needs to take charge of all these things. And even if he did that, I don't know if there's any coming back from the fact that he chose to confide in his mother about YOUR personal medical conditions.

What a terrible husband. Stop saying he is an amazing father, as that kind of person treats the mother of his child respectfully. Go be with your family and surround yourself by supportive people. I’m not saying divorce him, but he needs an attitude adjustment and understand what YOU need. What if you never get back to his ideal vision of you ? I cannot imagine being with someone that judges that way. I hope with some distance, and you loving your new self, that the future is better for you.

Many thought she needed to address his texts

Tell your family. He deserves every piece of what is coming. I would absolutely lose all respect for my husband if he had done that.

Sounds like a loser to me. He is more concerned about your weight than enjoying this part of your life together with your baby.

1. His family is not your family, the faster you learn that, the better 2. Your MIL is an AH, every body is different and she can't compare her complexion to yours, the fact that she had the hability to bounce back in her weight was pure luck (genetic luck) 3. Old to be a mom???? This one enraged me, you are 27, 27!!!! You are so SO Young, so what? She wanted you to be 17 or what? 4. Give yourself a break, you had 9 months of changes in your body, exercise, yes, but for your mental health, believe, you need it, is so difficult to be a new mom. Take things slowly. 5. Do not have more kids with your husband, he is a POS.

Oh, you've got one of *those* husbands. And you just had his baby. What a shame.

My goodness, this is just so unbelievably sad to read. Your husband is completely out of line here and needs to stop comparing u to his mother and sisters. The fact they bounced back so quickly is completely irrelevant, you are a completely different person and also a first time mum working things out. I suspect his mum probably has an eating disorder which she’s passed on to her daughters too, or at least a very unhealthy relationship with food. Personally, i would refuse to go on the family holiday unless each and every one of them apologizes to you. Your husband is supposed to be your biggest advocate, not just agree with his nasty mum & sisters. It’s bloody hard being a new mum without the pressure to lose the weight quickly. It took me well over a year and not once did my husband or family ever mention a word. But if they had, I would have been devastated so i completely understand why this has cut u so deeply.

Girl...leave lol. With his mom? what the actual f**k is that Game of Thrones s**t

So... If you stay with him, you use this. 2 hours 5ish times a week he cares for the baby. He. Not his mom. You find 1-2 activities you like. I suggest one being 1-2 walks with friends, keeping your social circle alive, meeting sane people. Second? What do I know? Something you like or always wanted to do: riding, swimming, figureskating, climbing,... He complains? You tell him you miss your former body. Of course it will take time getting it back. And maintaining it. (Especially while eating whatever you feel for).

I legit would leave. He’s f*****g gross and so is his family.

Go stay with your family. You raised an entire human and he’s concerned with how you’ll look at the family holiday. Instead of him supporting you, he’s running to his mummy. Ew.

Sweetie you're not ancient. You're 27! I had a baby at 37. I was tiny before I had her and ended up not tiny after, partly due to thyroid issuss... Do you know what's amazing... We grew a human. We grew a brain, a heart, bones.... What did your husband do? I also want to address something you said - you said: 'he is an amazing husband and father'. No he is not. Amazing husbands don't fat-shame their wives behind their back. Amazing fathers don't disrespect the mother of their child like that. I work with victims of domestic a***e and the amount of times a woman will be telling me about what's happened or happening to her and say 'but he's a great dad'. Your brain needs to catch up with the fact that he is showing you who he is. He is shallow. He does not unconditionally love you. He is disrespectful.

My mouth literally dropped open reading this, WtAF. Go to your family, tell everyone exactly why! This is such a vile view to have and I would at the very least need some time apart to work out if I felt I could move past it. But I don't think I could ever feel safe (in a comfort sense) with someone after this again tbh.

Did you know that when wives are diagnosed with cancer doctors tell them to also prepare for possible divorce? Feels like your husband would be one of these men. The ONLY time these kinds of comments are ok is if he is genuinely concerned for your health and you need an intervention or of he knows your weight is upsetting you. You sure as hell NEVER discuss it with someone else and it should never have to do with being attracted or not. What happens if you get a health condition that changes your appearance, does he complain then too? I'm overweight, gained 15kg, have struggled to lose it, my husband isn't specifically into big women or anything and he has never once uttered a word about my weight. I would lose all respect for him if he said something like yours has.

Keira Burton / Pexels (not the actual photo)

She shared an update later

u/randomlosttoes

shurkin_son / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Commenters expressed their thoughts about the husband and his mom

He and his mom are trash. And its entirely possible his sister's didnt all 'bounce back', they just hd a trash mother that pressed them into crazy diets until they lost weight. I wouldn't blame you for not getting over this. EDIT: And tell your family EVERYTHING (everything his mom said as well), considering he has been telling HIS mother everything. See how he feels once he talks to someone outside his trash echo chamber.

*Hes an amazing father and never complains about night feeds or nappy blowout!* EXCUSE ME! why do we hold men to such high regard for just being a freaking parent! You BOTH had this child, albeit only one of you went through the life altering process of actually growing another human and now sustaining it, and he has a audacity to complain to mumsie that he is struggling with attraction... Well, welcome to the party pal! I am so incandescent with rage on your behalf at this egotistical cretin I'm likely to have an aneurism! I would find myself having attraction issues to him being a massive fuc*ing mommies boy w4ank stain! Go to your parents, ignore this shallow t**t and his toxic family, you know what's important? Surrounding you and that beautiful child with love, not the size of your a*s! PS. Having children in your 20s is not old! (Or 30, 40s we now live longer, financial more stable and healthier) what in the redneck Alabama age was mommie dearest? 13???

He’s not a great dad because he deals with feeding and changing your baby. That’s exactly what he should be doing. He’s not special or going above and beyond. You just went through possibly the biggest medical event of your life, and had the biggest hormone crash you’ll ever have. I am honestly both furious and devastated for you that you’ve been reduced to your body after bringing a baby into the world. HIS baby mind you. I’m not sure this is something I’d ever get over personally.

I had some “friends” make comments about me “bouncing back” post pregnancy and it was so painful. It is so f*****g disgusting that that phrase even exists. You grew an entire human in your body and are now using your last vestiges of strength to keep that human alive and healthy. Why would your gym schedule even be something to consider at 5 weeks postpartum, let alone a topic for discussion. I obviously don’t know your husband or your relationship but I think he needs a serious wake up call about priorities and partnership. I think you going to stay with your family isn’t a bad idea. Having a newborn isn’t easy and you need to surround yourself with love and support

I definitely wouldn’t go to Costa Rica with him and his co-conspirators. Natural consequences for being douce bags. Did you have “in sickness and in health in your vows?” I’d move in with parents over that until he realized what he missed about me that doesn’t have to do with weight.

I want to reassure you and a lot of other new mothers here. 5 months is *super early* in the postpartum period! Of course, there *are* women who lose weight super fast postpartum, and there's nothing wrong with that when it's natural. We all have different reactions to pregnancy; thus it is postpartum. But it's *totally normal* to still be holding all that extra weight this early postpartum. Especially if you're breastfeeding. A lot of us hoard fat during breastfeeding even though it's such an energy draw, *because* it's such an energy draw. Really, the postpartum period where your body is still healing and getting back to baseline is 12-18 months! OR 3-6 months after you e weaned, whichever happens later. You family-in-law may be some of the ones who naturally shed weight quickly. That's rare but not necessarily bad. But they have *no* reason to shame you for your body's also natural response. Additionally, they seem to have poor attitudes to weight, so they may have shed the weight in an unhealthy way, and *f**k that*. I refused to shed weight quickly postpartum because I have to diet fairly extremely to get my weight to budge, and I wanted to prioritize*healing*, and restricting your calories and nutrients does not do that! You have the whole rest of your life to lose weight; why does it have to be now during the healing process??? OP, your husband is putting your appearance over your health. I'd be *beyond* angry too. Is there any indication, though, that he loves you less and is attracted to you less? Or, since he hasn't said anything, could it simply be that his mother's negative attitudes and unusual example have made him think this is not healthy for you for some reason? Could he simply be set straight with some science facts? It's problematic that he apparently has been misjudging the majority of pregnant women all this time, but I'd give him a pass if he isn't holding it against you.

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