WASHINGTON—Despite carefully checking and double-checking the credentials of the man who reached out to him via email, FBI director Kash Patel was reportedly phished Friday by a scammer posing as FBI director Kash Patel. “First of all, he’s got my face as his profile picture, so that right there gave me a high degree of confidence, because I know what I look like,” said Patel, adding that he was further reassured by the presence of his name in “[email protected]” and the fact that the sender introduced himself as Patel in his message, which was obviously something only he himself could do. “I wasn’t exactly sure why he urgently wanted $10,000 in Target gift cards, but then again, he runs the FBI, so I assume whatever he’s doing it’s keeping us safe somehow. Besides, I went onto the FBI website, and sure enough, there he was. Once I verified that he was me—I mean, he even signed his email with my name—I sent him my login credentials right away. I just hope I did it in time.” After a major data breach occurred, Patel admitted he might have been hasty but didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to double his penis length in less than 24 hours.

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