Mothers-in-law often get a bad reputation, but it’s true, as we hear so many stories about how they ruin their daughters-in-law’s lives. The fact that there’s even a movie made about it (Monster-in-Law) speaks volumes about this bond. Alas, it all depends on luck whether you get a good one or not.
Unfortunately, one child-free woman shared online that she had a racist mother-in-law who did everything in her power to turn her life into a nightmare. She even used her worst pictures for the annual Christmas calendar, but what troubled the woman more was her spineless husband. Read on to find out how she finally had enough and took action!
Evil mothers-in-law just love to make their daughters-in-law miserable
wayhomestudio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
This woman was sick of her racist mother-in-law, who always used her worst pictures for the annual Christmas calendar
magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Netizens urged the narrator to walk away from the toxic situation
An update revealed that the poster was more sick of her unsupportive husband and decided to file for divorce
Jealous mothers-in-law can’t stand a changing family structure
Some genuinely nice people have the misfortune of having the most cruel mothers-in-law. These women think troubling their daughters-in-law is their birthright, and they can go to extremes. A study found that 60% of women admitted the relationship with their female in-law caused them long-term unhappiness and stress.
Two-thirds of daughters-in-law believed their husband’s mother frequently showed jealous, maternal love toward their son. Cambridge University psychologist and author Dr. Terri Apter claims that the conflict between these two women often arises from the assumption that each is criticizing or undermining the other.
She continues, “But this mutual unease may have less to do with actual attitudes and far more to do with persistent female stereotypes that few of us manage to shake off completely. Both the mother and the wife are struggling to achieve the same position in the family — primary woman. Each tries to establish or protect their status. Each feels threatened by the other.”
Also, the trouble is that some mothers are not really able to handle the power shift, as daughters-in-law symbolize a changing family structure. They feel that their son is being taken away from them. That’s why they start venting their frustrations by mistreating their daughters-in-law. What they fail to realize is that their actions directly affect their sons, too.
Experts highlight that toxic mothers-in-law can have a powerful impact on relationships, using subtle control and manipulation tactics that may go unnoticed by others, especially their own child. They explain that this creates tension and leads to issues like low self-esteem, anxiety, and even depression.
An unsupportive partner can be more damaging for any person
In the author’s case, not only did her mother-in-law harass and disrespect her, but she was also racist. Facing this kind of social evil can be harrowing, especially when it comes from someone who is supposed to be family. That’s probably the last thing people need when they already face racism from strangers.
According to the researchers at Mental Health America, racism is widely recognized to impact mental health and well-being negatively. Those who experience acts of racism may show signs of racial trauma. Though not everyone who experiences racism will also experience a mental health condition, well-being can be affected by racism in many other ways, they note.
Despite all the trouble a cruel in-law can cause, couples can get through it as long as they support each other. After all, a partner who takes a stand for you is probably the bare minimum people can expect. However, problems can intensify if a partner gaslights your concerns and sides with their parents instead of rooting for you.
A study has found that an unsupportive partner can physically stress you out. “Wives who received support more negatively felt less understood, validated, and cared for by a partner, which had a ‘stress-amplifying’ effect, meaning cortisol increased across the interaction,” it explained.
When something so basic is missing in a relationship, it can feel like choosing the exit is the only option. Especially considering that the poster’s husband claimed that his feelings for her were “dormant,” and therapy didn’t work either. Netizens were glad that she decided to walk away from him and his toxic family.
What would you do in such a situation? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section. Also, if you found this story interesting, here’s another family drama that you can check out.
Netizens cheered the poster for deciding to leave her husband and toxic in-laws
