Abdul El-Sayed is the Democratic nominee for the U.S. Senate in Michigan. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the progressive candidate.

Ethnicity: Scary-American

Personal Mission: Disproving harmful stereotypes about jacked Muslim doctors

Campaign Strategy: Distract voters with ideas for improving government

Largest Attack Ad Funders: AIPAC, Mike Rogers for Senate, DNC

Where The ‘El’ In Name Comes From: Ancestors pandering for Latino vote

Hairline: Staunch, resolute

Why He Is Running: You know, sometimes he looks around at you knuckleheads and isn’t sure 

Chances Of Winning: Still considered high despite months of bruising attacks from the Democratic Party

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