Pet lovers and health experts are divided over whether dogs should co-sleep with their owners. The Onion examines the pros and cons of letting dogs sleep in the bed.

PRO

They’ll bark to let you know if anyone else is getting into bed

Get more use out of matching pajamas

Kind of fucked up not to from your dog’s perspective

For God’s sake, Richard, he’ll howl all night if we don’t

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CON

Unguarded granaries are quickly ravaged by vermin

Can be hard to sleep while dog using reading light

Will make goldfish unfathomably jealous

Don’t want dog thinking this is anything other than a fling 

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