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Toxic Mom Tries To Control Her Whole Family, Daughter-In-Law Refuses To Let Her Get Away With It

Toxic Mom Tries To Control Her Whole Family, Daughter-In-Law Refuses To Let Her Get Away With It

Movies and television shows often portray mothers-in-law as creatures akin to monsters. They’re jealous, cruel, and manipulative. Obviously, that is not usually the case in real life. But unfortunately, it does happen from time to time. 

One woman had no idea how toxic her mother-in-law was when she first got married, but over time, her true colors came out. So after biting her tongue for as long as she could, she eventually decided that it was time to get revenge. Below, you’ll find the full story that she posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.

This woman’s mother-in-law has become increasingly controlling in the time she’s been married

Text revealing daughter-in-law's feelings of wanting toxic mom's approval

teksomolika / Magnific (not the actual photo)

So eventually, she had to retaliate against her toxic behavior

Text about MIL complaining and accusing three unforgivable crimes in toxic mom family story

Text describing wedding issues in toxic mom family control story

Bride and groom at outdoor wedding illustrating toxic mom family conflict

magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)

Text about Christmas presents in toxic mom family control story

Text about bringing homemade cake to Thanksgiving in toxic mom family story

Apologizing to toxic mom to avoid family conflict and suggesting Secret Santa gift exchange

Toxic mom denies understanding and accuses daughter-in-law of creating drama

Daughter-in-law second-guesses herself and backs off to avoid conflict with toxic mom

Toxic mom buys expensive Christmas gifts for family except daughter-in-law who gets socks

Daughter-in-law giving a wrapped gift to an older woman during family gathering

gzorgz / Magnific (not the actual photo)

Daughter-in-law confronts toxic mom about controlling family and money issues after expensive house purchase.

Couple bought first house far from toxic mom's preferred location causing family tension and control issues.

Wife earns five times more than husband but toxic mom accuses her of draining son's bank account.

Toxic mom complains about wife not bringing food to holidays and expecting her to cook for family.

Toxic mom crashes couple's romantic Cancun vacation with distant cousins, causing family conflict.

Text describing toxic mom controlling family and daughter-in-law refusal

Older woman smiling with a cocktail representing toxic mom

magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)

Text about husband's secret credit card debt and toxic mom involvement

Text explaining toxic mom's grip on family through finances

Text revealing toxic mom paying credit card and joining trip uninvited

Text about toxic mom manipulating family over wedding finances

Text expressing anger and injustice towards toxic mom behavior

Text describing a plan to confront toxic mom after financial dispute

Couple arguing showing tension caused by toxic mom control

Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text depicting family gathering discussing toxic mom's financial sacrifice

Toxic mom controlling family described as a tyrant causing conflict

Daughter-in-law thanks generous mother-in-law for financial help

Daughter-in-law confronts toxic mom about financial control over husband

Daughter-in-law repays mother-in-law with interest as a thank-you

Daughter-in-law highlights repayment letting toxic mom attend sister's wedding

Toxic mom looking controlling and tense during a family meal

Kiwistocks / Magnific (not the actual photo)

Text about toxic mom and daughter-in-law conflict over wedding repayment

Text discussing a toxic mom and daughter-in-law confrontation

Text revealing daughter-in-law plans to host Thanksgiving to relieve toxic mom

Text describing the daughter-in-law clapping to support changes in family dynamics

Screenshot of text about daughter-in-law confronting toxic mom in family control situation

Screenshot of text describing MIL's pride during Thanksgiving and being outplayed

Woman looking upset with man blurred in background, depicting family tension with toxic mom

The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Magnific (not the actual photo)

Screenshot of text about family agreeing woman deserved a break from cooking

Screenshot of text about MIL being livid and stuck in a victim narrative

Toxic mom controlling family shows conflict with daughter-in-law

Daughter-in-law resisting toxic mom's control over family

Family tension between toxic mom and daughter-in-law over control

Power struggle scene between toxic mom and daughter-in-law

Woman confronting another over toxic family control issues

Bizon / Magnific (not the actual photo)

Woman raises glass announcing Christmas is on her after family conflict with toxic mom

Older sister suggests having Christmas at her place resolving toxic mom family control

Vegetarian cousin and SIL support change for easier Christmas during toxic mom family dispute

MIL's shocked expression during family rebellion against toxic mom's control at Christmas

Aunt calms tension with invitation, facing MIL firmly in toxic mom family Christmas battle

Quote about not crying after losing in controlling toxic mom scenario

Daughter-in-law consoling upset older woman on couch family tension

magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)

Quote on recognizing manipulation and gaslighting from toxic mom

Quote about toxic mom's choice to control family or preserve dignity

Quote about toxic mom forcing a smile and losing control

Advice to daughter-in-law on handling a manipulative toxic mom with confidence

Daughter-in-law explains excuse to avoid hosting Christmas to challenge toxic mom

StormForNova

Conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law are incredibly common

While nobody gets married to their partner because of their parents, some people might be discouraged from tying the knot if they can’t stand their partner’s mother or father. And often, in-law relationships are particularly difficult for women.

Research from psychologist Dr. Terri Apter has found that two-thirds of married women believe that their husband’s mom exhibits “jealous, maternal love” towards their son. Meanwhile, three-quarters of couples report that they’ve had issues with an in-law, and the vast majority of these cases revolved around the daughter-in-law and her husband’s parents.

Unfortunately, there are many reasons why a mother-in-law may not be a fan of her child’s partner. Madeleine A. Fugère, PhD, notes in a piece for Psychology Today that this often happens when they don’t approve of the partner their child has chosen. 

If the mother had someone else in mind for their son or daughter, they may refuse to accept anyone else. At the same time, some mothers-in-law have a problem accepting their child’s partner if he or she is too attractive.

As ridiculous as this sounds, it may (consciously or unconsciously) cause her to distrust the partner, assuming that they’re going to have a wandering eye or cheat someday. 

Some moms even discourage their children from entering into long-term relationships out of jealousy. If a mother doesn’t want to accept that she won’t be the most important woman in her son’s life anymore, she may try to sabotage his relationships to avoid having to compete for attention.

Two women happily talking at family dinner representing toxic family dynamics

magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)

Setting boundaries with a toxic mother-in-law is crucial

When it comes to dealing with a toxic mother-in-law, ChoosingTherapy says it can take a significant toll on a person and their marriage. Aside from causing tension in a person’s relationship, it can even lead to anxiety, depression, or substance use issues. So it’s best to have some strategies in place for keeping the toxic in-law in check.

First, it’s important to communicate openly with your partner if their mother is not behaving appropriately. It may not be easy to call out their mother’s behavior, but it’s crucial that they’re aware of it, so they can intervene.

You should also have realistic expectations about your toxic mother-in-law’s behavior. At this point in her life, she’s pretty set in her ways. So you may need to learn how to navigate situations with her, rather than expect her to make any drastic changes. 

Meanwhile, it’s important not to take anything she does or says too personally. The reality is that her behavior says much more about her than it does about you. If she wants to insult you, talk about you behind your back, or exclude you, just let it roll off your back. 

Setting boundaries is also crucial with a toxic mother-in-law. She may not want to respect them, but she is not entitled to your time or attention whenever she wants. 

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How do you think the author handled this situation? Then, if you’re interested in checking out another article from Bored Panda featuring similar family drama, look no further than right here. 

Readers applauded the author for standing up for herself, and she joined in on the conversation in the comments section

Online comment praising story about toxic mom trying to control family

Comment describing setting new family traditions to avoid toxic mom influence

Toxic mom controlling family, daughter-in-law stands firm against manipulation

Daughter-in-law refuses to tolerate toxic mom's family control tactics

Family conflict with toxic mom, daughter-in-law resists control attempts

Toxic mom's controlling behavior challenged by daughter-in-law in family drama

Daughter-in-law confronts toxic mom's family control in heated confrontation

Comment revealing divorce in toxic family story

Discussion about husband behavior and divorce in toxic family

Praise for confronting toxic mom manipulation in toxic family

Criticism of Christmas scene in toxic family story

Explanation of writing process about toxic family and MIL stories

Comment discussing toxic mom controlling family and daughter-in-law's refusal to comply

Comment mentioning learning about the French and warning against messing with them

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