There’s something so beautiful about a peaceful mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. When both women are able to form a strong bond, their relationships with their son and husband can grow deeper as well.
But in the case of one man, his wife’s love for his mother eventually began to create problems in his marriage. Below, you’ll find the full story that the man shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies and advice invested readers left him.
This man has been navigating how to take care of his ill mother and prioritize his wife at the same time
cookie_studio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
But when his wife demanded that he spend less time with his mom, he started questioning his entire relationship
Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Many readers gave the man a reality check, along with some honest advice
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Then, the author shared an update on the status of his marriage
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RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Prioritizing your spouse is the key to creating a healthy marriage
On the internet, we often hear about mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships that are riddled with issues. One may be jealous of the other, or one may not approve of the other’s lifestyle.
They might have a hard time seeing eye to eye, which can take a toll on both of their relationships with the husband/son involved. In fact, 60% of married women admit that the relationship with their mother-in-law has caused them “long-term unhappiness and stress,” the BBC reports.
So when you get to hear a story about a mother and daughter-in-law who truly love each other, it’s heartwarming. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that it will be smooth sailing in all of their relationships.
Licensed Professional Counselor Brittney Scott notes that it’s often necessary for married adults to set boundaries with their mother to ensure that she doesn’t start interfering in their marriage. This may include setting physical boundaries, emotional boundaries, mental boundaries, and/or time and energy boundaries.
You’ll always love your parents, but once you get married, it’s time to put your spouse first. It goes both ways, though. Both a husband and a wife should be willing to put their spouse before their relationship with their parents or their partner’s parents.
Success magazine notes that the secret to a healthy marriage is putting your spouse first. Especially for couples that have children, it’s easy for the kids to come first or for life to get in the way. But it’s crucial that they prioritize one another to avoid becoming roommates over time.
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Jealousy of any kind can take a huge toll on a relationship
Plus, there are plenty of easy ways to put your spouse first that won’t require much time or effort but can make a huge difference in your relationship.
This can include bringing them coffee every morning, hugging and holding hands often, texting and flirting throughout the day, making the bedroom a kid-free zone, saying “I love you” every day, and planning the week together so you don’t have to worry about logistics every day.
Meanwhile, it’s important to communicate clearly and often, so issues don’t start to grow over time without ever being noticed. Jealousy, in particular, can take a huge toll on a romantic relationship.
PsychCentral warns that, when unchecked, jealousy can sabotage an otherwise healthy relationship. Signs of jealousy may include possessive or controlling behavior, isolation, constant reassurance, monitoring your whereabouts and communication, distrust or suspicion, lack of boundaries, and/or increased volatility.
As for what causes jealousy, it often stems from insecurity, low self-esteem, neuroticism, or a fear of abandonment. And as we’ve seen from this story, this doesn’t only have to include jealousy when someone else looks at or flirts with your partner. Jealousy towards anything that your partner has, such as a healthy relationship with their parents or success in their career, can be detrimental to a relationship as well.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think the author is right and that it’s time for him to get a divorce? Feel free to weigh in. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another article from Bored Panda discussing similar relationship drama, look no further than right here.
Readers had mixed opinions on the situation, but many agreed that the marriage was definitely not healthy
