We’re living in an age when society is more open to considering alcoholism as a disease. According to the WHO, chronic drinking claimed 2.6 million lives worldwide in 2019. 600,000 of those lives taken were women.
TikTok user Sober Emily could’ve been a part of that statistic, had she allowed her drinking to go completely off the rails. The 27-year-old has been sober since 2023 and has since devoted her life to educating people about the serious dangers of alcoholism.
In one of her recent posts, she went into detail about how bad her life had gotten during her drinking days, to the point where she lived in absolute filth.
TikTok user Sober Emily had been an alcoholic for most of her life
In one of her recent posts, she revealed the five things she did during her days as a raging alcoholic
Emily began her video describing how she “lived in absolute filth.” She revealed wetting her bed every night because of the amount of liquor she was drinking. And even with the exorbitant amount, she showed no care about her condition and well-being.
“I did not care at all. It got to the point where I finally cared enough to throw all of my bedding away. So then I was left sleeping on a mattress and in my winter coat during the winters,” she said.
Given how dramatically her life changed after she got sober, Emily says she couldn’t wrap her head around how she lived in the past. Especially now, since she cleans her bedding once a week.
Bizon / Magnific (not the actual photo)
If she wasn’t cleaning her bed, she wasn’t getting her mail, either
During her days as an alcoholic, Emily also revealed that she neglected to collect her mail. She said the mailbox would be so full that her landlords had to be called to check what was going on.
But what was sad about this part of her story was that her priorities at that time were solely about consuming as much liquor as she could, and nothing else.
“If there was not a coupon for a free bottle of vodka, I was not gonna go get my mail,” she said. “As for bills and important things, I did not care. All I cared about was having vodka, drinking my vodka, when I need to get more, and getting more.”
rawpixel.com / Magnific (not the actual photo)
She would excrete blood out of sheer dehydration
Alcohol is a known diuretic. It stops the kidneys from retaining water, pushing the body to flush out excess fluids and leading to dehydration.
According to Emily, it led to her excreting blood through her urine and vomit. Yet, it did not stop her from drinking the way she did.
“In fact, things like that would happen, and my first thought was, ‘I need to go get a bottle. I need to forget about it. That is a later problem for me.”
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She couldn’t keep track of her alcohol intoxication episodes per week because of how often it happened
Choking is one of the symptoms of alcohol poisoning. Overconsumption suppresses the brain’s gag reflex, which is why many people who drink too much and pass out may choke on their vomit and suffocate from it.
In Emily’s case, she could no longer keep down the “30 to 35 gulps of straight vodka” she was drinking. So, she had to “get creative.”
“I would put a bucket next to me because it would come right back up. And I would drink from that bucket right after. I drank it from my spit bucket.”
Emily adds that her concern at that point was more about wasting vodka than her inability to keep any liquids down.
Mathias Reding / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She had no food at all, except for raw pasta
Everyone who has consumed alcohol knows that drinking on an empty stomach gets you drunk faster. Emily lived by this mindset during her worst days, revealing that she had no food in her house except for a pack of pasta noodles.
According to her, she did “not want the food to soak up the alcohol.” But when she couldn’t walk around the house without passing out, she knew she needed to eat something. Even then, she ate an obscenely small amount.
“I would open my cabinet and eat raw macaroni noodles. Like three or four. Enough to get me by.”
artemsh / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The first step to recovery is admitting how bad things have gotten
Alcoholism is a menace that can turn someone’s life into something they barely recognize. It can affect their relationships, health, and their sense of self. Sharing these low moments, as Emily bravely did, takes a ton of courage, especially when it involves experiences no one would share out loud.
Hitting rock bottom doesn’t look the same for everyone, and recovery does not happen overnight. But what matters is recognizing when the substance has taken more than it gives, and more importantly, knowing that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
Emily’s story is an excellent and sobering reminder that a disease like alcoholism isn’t always visible, which is why someone struggling with it deserves compassion more than anything.
But if anything, Emily is living proof that a person’s worst moments don’t have to define them for the rest of their lives.
You can watch her entire video below
@sober.emily The s**t I considered NORMAL while I was drinking would probably send a normal drinker into cardiac arrest. 😭 The scary part is that I wasn’t trying to be wild or crazy… I was just trying to make it through another day without alcohol. That’s what severe alcoholism actually looked like for me. You don’t realize how sick you are when your entire life revolves around surviving the next drink. If you know, you know. If you don’t, I hope you never have to.❤️🩹 #fyp #sobriety #addictionrecovery #wedorecover #rockbottom ♬ original sound – Emily | Sobriety
Most people in the comments were left in varying states of shock and amazement about how Emily survived, as some shared their own sobriety journeys
